


Imperfect

by rokeat



Category: Glee
Genre: Blam, Emotional Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, body issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-10-22
Packaged: 2018-11-22 07:39:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 28,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11375625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rokeat/pseuds/rokeat
Summary: Blaine has always known he doesn't measure up to his boyfriend's beauty, but he was ok with it and they were incredibly happy. But when Sam starts attending a modeling club at school, Blaine starts feeling ashamed of his own body and being afraid Sam will end up leaving him for someone better, so he tries to find the way to stop that.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, as usual this was supposed to be a OS but... no such luck. It will probably be 2 or 3 chapters, but we will see. I really hope you enjoy it! Please, let me know if you do!
> 
> This prompt was thrown to me by my friend AJ27 a loooong time ago. I hope you're still out there and you can read it, honey! And thanks for the trust!

Blaine smiled when his phone beeped, even before he got to read the message. Because he didn’t need to unlock the screen to know it was probably Sam, just texting him to tell him something sweet in anticipation for their reunion in just a couple of minutes, as Blaine was already making his way down the McKinley corridors after his science club. That was the one who got out the latest, and Blaine felt guilty whenever Sam waited for him before going home, just so they could spend a little time together on their trip towards their respective homes, but there was no way to convince him to stop doing it, as Sam was the sweetest thing ever. Oh, he would try to hide it under the argument he was taking the time to use the gym to get more in shape, and even if that was true and Sam cared a lot about his body, Blaine did know better. And he couldn’t love him more for that.

A colorful poster in one of the bulletin boards on the corridor caught Blaine’s attention before he could get his phone out of his pocket, as he was sure he hadn’t seen it before and maybe it could be another extracurricular activity he could be a part of to improve his transcript, considering how important it was to be accepted in NYADA –even though it was already impressive, Blaine smiled as he could imagine Sam trying to convince him of it and of giving it a break, as he had done so many times before–. And his smile only got wider as he read it:

_Would you like to be a model? We’re looking for young people willing to give it a try in the fashion industry, so if you think you could fit into it, give us a call and we’ll help you._

Blaine rushed to take his notebook out of his backpack and noted down the contacting phone number, drawing a couple of hearts at each side of it to make sure Sam would smile when he handed it to him. Of course it was for Sam, Blaine thought with a smile: his incredibly hot, gorgeous and spectacular boyfriend, that Adonis he had the fortune to date. Because he knew becoming a model was Sam’s dream, and the career he wanted to pursue when they both headed to New York in just a few months. But in any case, it wouldn’t hurt to try while they were still in Lima, right? Ok, it was only a club, but who knew? Maybe they had connections, or at least could teach him a few tips for the job that could help him later. In any case, it wouldn’t hurt to try, would it?

He accelerated his pace with the excitement of the news he had towards the locker room, where he knew he would find his dreamy boyfriend. He smiled fondly at just the thought of Sam, wondering, not for the first time, how someone as beautiful and impressive as he was had set his eyes on him. Because he had to face it, he was not that big a deal, especially compared to him –even if he knew Sam wouldn’t agree to that–. But Blaine knew Sam loved him to no end, whatever the reasons, and that was enough for him. Just as long as they were together, nothing else mattered.

He opened the door to the locker room slowly, in silence, hoping to catch Sam distracted and maybe give him a playful fright. But when he saw him there, already dressed except for his t-shirt, drying his perfectly sculptured chest with a towel after his shower, Blaine forgot about everything he was going to say and just enjoyed the view with a contented sigh.

“You don’t have to put it on, you know” Blaine joked, smiling mischievously at his boyfriend when the latter stopped what he was doing in surprise and turned to him.

Blaine felt that familiar stirring in his heart when Sam recognized him and smiled fondly at him, both appreciating his humor and at getting to reunite again after a long couple of hours apart. They had been dating for a while already, but they were still not over the honeymoon phase, apparently, judging by how Blaine’s heart would always beat so much faster when Sam was around, especially if he looked and smiled at him like he was doing at the moment.

“I do, or otherwise we will never get home and you need to rest” Sam contradicted him while he finished getting dressed, just before closing the gap between them to kiss Blaine and smile at him again in an impossibly sweet way. “Hi”

“Hi” Blaine answered before giving him a kiss of his own and then letting himself fall on those warm arms that always made him feel so safe and happy. “You didn’t need to wait for me, I told you”

“Then why did you come to get me at the locker room instead of going straight home, even if you didn’t read my message saying I was here, according to the lack of a blue double check?” Sam answered with a chuckle, as he closed the embrace even more strongly around Blaine and rested a doting kiss on the top of his head.

“Because I knew you were not going to listen to me” Blaine answered, trying to sound reproachful even if the way he cuddled under Sam’s chin in gratitude belied him.

“I never listen to you” Sam replied with a laugh that was immediately reciprocated by Blaine’s. “I’m always going to wait for you and you know it”

“And I love you so much for that” Blaine stated with a grateful kiss to his boyfriend’s lips before letting go of him so Sam could finish gathering the rests of his belonging in his bag. “But it’s stupid for you to wait for me for an hour just so we can make the way home together”

“It’s not stupid, I just don’t want to go home without seeing you one last time for the day” Sam explained, because for him it was as easy as that. “And anyway, you know I use the time to…”

“To get in shape, yeah, I know” Blaine finished the sentence for him, taking Sam’s backpack himself so the blond would only have to carry his sports bag. “You’ve told me a thousand times”

“Well, then maybe you should start listening and just enjoy my company while you drive me home” Sam explained as he put his arm around Blaine’s shoulders.

“Oh, that I do” Blaine assured him while nestling more comfortably under Sam’s wing as they started walking.

“Though I was thinking... if your parents aren’t home…” Sam suggested, trying to sound seductive as he playfully nuzzled Blaine’s neck, although the reaction he was looking for was not the heartfelt laugh Blaine let out –which wasn’t a problem, really, because there was nothing he loved more than making Blaine laugh.

“Stop” Blaine chuckled as he pretended to disentangle himself from Sam’s embrace without much enthusiasm. “They aren’t home, but I need to study”

“So?”

“So if I let you come with me I know study will be the last thing on the list”

“That’s the image you have of me?” Sam asked, pretending to be deeply offended.

“Absolutely” Blaine unashamedly replied with a sardonic smile that made Sam laugh.

“You know me so well” he admitted, resting a kiss on Blaine’s cheek as they resumed their way towards the parking lot. “But come on, I just want to be with you a little longer. I’ll let you study”

“Yeah, right” Blaine sarcastically answered.

“Pleeeease” Sam begged, sounding very much like a five-year-old brat. “Look, I promise to behave”

“You really promise?” Blaine asked, and Sam could see he was hoping to hear an affirmative answer –because he probably was dying to spend some time together too, even if it was studying.

“I really do” Sam honestly answered, knowing there was no way he could deny Blaine anything.

“Ok then” Blaine closed the deal with a kiss to Sam’s cheek. “I kind of want to be with you for a bit longer too”

“Awww, aren’t you the sweetest thing?” Sam answered, only half joking, while he reinforced the grip on Blaine’s upper body and leaded him towards his car, his spirits way lifted now that he knew he was going to spend the evening with his favorite person in the world.

**********

Damn it, Blaine hadn’t been joking when he said he intended to study, Sam thought as he sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time. He was trying to finish his homework, he really was, but after a long hour without a rest, when he was not allowed to even touch Blaine even if he was only a few feet away from him, he could say it was like a torture. Especially considering the smaller boy was right in front of him… lying on his bed.

Knowing Sam needed to do some homework, Blaine had immediately offered for him to take his desk –he was generous and kind like that–, so he had let himself fall on his bed with his books, on his stomach, from where he hadn’t moved for the last hour. And yeah, Sam had done alright for a while. But then he had made the mistake of turning around to get a glimpse of his boyfriend and… damn, that was it. Who could concentrate after seeing his impossibly cute and sexy boyfriend, lying on his stomach with his feet on the air, completely concentrated on his studying while distractedly chewing on some pencil, completely unaware of the effect he was having on him?

“B?” Sam said, completely unable to stay silent any longer.

“Hmm?” Blaine murmured, not even lifting his face from his book, even if he was too considerate to ignore his boyfriend completely.

“I’m bored” Sam complained in a tone that was half annoying, half pleading, but unfortunately for him, it didn’t seem to have much effect on his studios boyfriend.

“Then do your homework” Blaine answered, still looking at his book.

“I’m… hungry”

“There’s food in the fridge, you can take whatever you want”

“Aren’t you coming with me?”

“No, I told you I need to study”

“I don’t want to eat alone” Sam whined, especially when he noticed nothing he said was enough to lift Blaine’s gaze from that book Sam was coming to hate so much.

“Whatever you like, Sammy” Blaine answered without too much interest.

Sam sighed as none of his usually effective strategies seemed to work. And damn it, did Blaine not notice how much he needed him? Maybe Blaine didn’t love him that much anymore… Who was he trying to fool, Sam thought with a smile, of course Blaine loved him to no end. And a good proof of that was how excited he had looked as he explained to him about that modeling club on their way home, how big his smile was while he handed the paper with the phone number to him –with some adorable hearts drawn in it–, how convincing he was when he assured Sam that he was the hottest guy in Lima and how he should surely give it a try because modeling agencies would quarrel over him as soon as they got to know him. And due to how excited he was, some would think it was the biggest opportunity for him, instead of Sam. But Sam knew that Blaine loved him so much that he cared about his victories more than about his own. And Sam loved him all the more for that.

And that’s why he needed to be near him, damn it, he couldn’t stand it anymore.

“I’m tired, can I lay down on your bed too?” Sam asked, changing strategies, taking advantage of how gullible Blaine could be sometimes to get closer to him.

“Sure” Blaine distractedly answered, even moving aside to leave some room for his boyfriend.

And well… even if that was not what he had been looking for, at least it was something!

Sam left himself fall on his stomach, much closer to Blaine than it was necessary, but the latter didn’t complain because he was sweet and kindhearted like that. And when Blaine still didn’t react to Sam’s proximity after a whole minute, Sam couldn’t wait any longer and he started nuzzling and heavily breathing on the back of Blaine’s neck, something that he knew usually got him quickly in the mood.

“Sammy” Blaine said with a warning tone that didn’t seem to affect his boyfriend too much.

“What?” Sam answered with mocking innocence, as he changed his loving ministrations to kisses, directly on Blaine’s neck, marveling as usual at how soft his skin was –and how it made his body hair stand up.

“Don’t, I see what you’re doing” Blaine replied, finally taking his attention of the book to slide slightly to the side so he could avoid Sam’s attentions.

“What am I doing?” Sam half asked, half protested, feigning to ignore what Blaine was talking about.

“You said you would let me study”

“I know, but...”

“You promised”

“Damn it” Sam complained in annoyance as he let himself fall on his back at the bed, knowing Blaine was right and that he could never break a promise to him.

Silence fell between them as Blaine returned to his book and Sam laid unmoving next to him, on his back, sighing every few seconds –because yes, he had promised to behave, but he was going to let Blaine know how much it annoyed him as much as he could–. Blaine, though, still seemed immune to it, and Sam covered his eyes with his hands in frustration after a while, letting the air out of his chest slowly in surrender when he understood nothing was going to happen.

“Don’t do that” Blaine admonished him after a few seconds, to which Sam uncovered his eyes and looked at him in honest surprise.

“I’m not doing anything” Sam tried to defend himself.

“You totally are”

“What I am doing?”

“Pouting” Blaine said, playfully nudging Sam’s side. “And flexing those amazing arms of yours so I will notice them, and you know how much I love those muscles”

“What muscles?” Sam asked in feigned innocence now that he knew what Blaine was talking about, flexing his muscles purposely –and ridiculously– this time, with hope now that Blaine seemed to be more receptive. “These ones?”

Both of them burst into heartfelt laughs at the absurdity of the conversation, and Sam thought his heart was going to melt when Blaine finally closed the small distance separating them and let himself fall on Sam’s chest.

“You’re a manipulative bastard” Blaine protested, but the way he curled on Sam’s chest bellied the sentiment behind those words. “And I’m the biggest pushover ever”

“You’re not, you’re just too kind for your own good” Sam answered with a kiss to his forehead as he enveloped the smaller boy with his strong arms. “Or maybe you just can’t resist me”

“Maybe it’s a bit of both” Blaine answered, kissing the skin under Sam’s chin for better measure. “It’s your fault, you supermodel bastard”

“Do you really think I can be a model?” Sam asked, laughing as Blaine jumped from his arms to kneel at his side so he could look at his face, almost offended at his doubts.

“Are you kidding me?” Blaine asked, as if he couldn’t believe the question.

“I just want to make sure I won’t make a fool of myself” Sam explained, even if he was already more confident even if only thanks to the absolute trust Blaine had in him.

“With these abs?” Blaine asked, lifting Sam’s t-shirt enough to devotedly kiss his abdomen –until he made Sam sigh in anticipation.

“Is that all?” he cockily asked, smiling himself when he made Blaine chuckle.

“Not nearly” Blaine answered as he lifted Sam’s t-shirt even more and teasingly ran his hands all along the skin on Sam’s chest. “I love this chest” he continued, just before his tongue replaced his hands, tracing a wet path all along the territory, and finally looped around one of Sam’s nipples.

“Gosh, Blaine” Sam huskily exclaimed, his back arching at the instant pleasure Blaine was delivering. “You’re surely not going back to studying now”

Blaine laughed unreservedly, in that way Sam loved so much, and let the blond guide him towards his lips again through the hand cupping the back of his neck almost possessively to kiss him breathless.

“I don’t think you can get any more perfect than that” Blaine said with and adoring smile as he observed his perfect boyfriend with a mixture of fondness and lust.

“You really know what to say to get a guy on the mood” Sam answered as he finally got rid of his t-shirt and sat up to hungrily capture Blaine’s lips with his again.

“Though now that I think about it…” Blaine teasingly said against Sam’s lips, without really breaking the kiss. “Maybe I should take a look at your legs”

“What do you…?” Sam tried to ask, but Blaine interrupted him by abruptly breaking the kiss and pushing him backwards to start pulling his pants down. “Nice move”

“Thank you” Blaine joked as he undressed Sam’s legs and ran his hands all along them, making Sam shiver in anticipation. “Mmm, the legs are pretty impressive too”

“Stop it already” Sam pleaded with a laugh, even if he was deeply enjoying the moment –and gosh, he loved when Blaine forgot about everything and got playful like that, he looked so much more beautiful without any lines of worry in his face.

“Not until I can check the whole package” Blaine contradicted him with a lascivious smile as his fingers started playing with the waistband of Sam’s underwear.

But Sam stopped him before he could remove it as he sat up again and kissed Blaine with fervor.

“If you think for one moment I’m going to be the only one naked in here…” he playfully threatened as his hands moved to Blaine’s waist and rolled up his sweater in one quick movement until it was gone. “Damn it, why do you have to wear so many layers?”

“Because I know how much you love peeling them off” Blaine answered with a laugh as he started unbuttoning his own shirt, but Sam’s hand gently stopped him and replaced him on the task.

“That’s true” Sam added, and his lips moved to play with Blaine’s while he patiently opened button after button until the shirt opened completely… to reveal an undershirt. “What, are you kidding me?”

“It was cold today!” Blaine protested with a laugh that was immediately stopped when Sam’s hands slowly got rid of it too and ended up embracing him strongly, running teasingly all along his back as he kissed him again.

“That’s so much better” Sam murmured against his lips in a deeper tone, once their naked chests finally came into contact. “Gosh, Blaine, you’re so sexy… You should come to model with me”

“Yeah, right” Blaine answered with a sarcastic chuckle that Sam didn’t find that funny.

“Blaine, you’re the most beautiful boy I’ve ever seen” Sam said as he took advantage of their embrace to change positions and lowered Blaine completely on the bed. “And that’s a fact”

Of course Blaine didn’t agree, but he let himself enjoy Sam’s words for a moment because he knew his boyfriend was being honest, even if he was clearly biased. But of course all thought flew from his head when Sam’s hands strongly grabbed on the rest of his clothes and pulled them down in one expert move.

“Sam, you pulled my underwear down too!” Blaine playfully protested when he found himself completely naked in front of his boyfriend, to which he slightly blushed because they hadn’t been together for that long and it still made him feel a bit self-conscious.

“Oops, my mistake” Sam mockingly apologized, with no hint of regret in his voice as he finally climbed on top on Blaine and started kissing his neck.

“You’re going to pay for that” Blaine threatened, almost in a whisper, as his boyfriend’s tongue on his neck and the friction between their lower bodies was turning him so crazy he could hardly find his voice.

“I really hope so” Sam answered as he reached down and kicked his own underwear out of the way.

**********

It was a good while later when Blaine sighed in contentment, tightly wrapped in Sam’s arms as he rested on the blond’s chest, sated and happy. So happy, in fact, that he couldn’t help a wide smile that Sam immediately noticed.

“What are you smiling at?” Sam asked as his hand moved to fondly caress the curls at the back of Blaine’s neck, even if he couldn’t help but to reciprocate because damn it, he felt so happy too!

“Nothing, just… that I love you” Blaine honestly answered, even if he blushed at the exuberance of his own emotions.

“Awww” Sam jokingly said before he placed a tender kiss on Blaine’s forehead, even if he was really moved at his boyfriend’s sweetness and obvious feelings for him. “You’re so sweet… I love you too… more than you can possibly imagine”

“I know it’s week’s night, but… do you want to stay for the night?”

Sam contemplated for a moment being the responsible one and refusing, not sure if it was really a good idea, considering he hadn’t really let Blaine study –and the boy would probably regret it later– and he didn’t know what Carol and Burt would think about that… But one look at Blaine’s hopeful and incredibly beautiful eyes, looking at him as if he was the most amazing man on the Earth, and there was no way he could refuse. Not that he wanted, damn it, of course he was incapable of separating from Blaine just yet.

“Try and stop me” he answered, squeezing Blaine even more strongly to his own body. “But just so I can make sure you sleep instead of studying all night or whatever, because I can’t trust you”

Blaine smiled again at his boyfriend’s words, knowing how much Sam worried about his wellbeing and how he loved taking care of him. And for once he didn’t even care he hadn’t studied as much as he wanted: as long as Sam cared about him like that, he didn’t need anything else.

“Nighty night, love” Blaine said, resting a loving kiss on Sam’s chest and closing his eyes so Sam could see he meant to obey.

“Good night, babe” Sam answered as he rested his head on top of Blaine’s.

**********

Blaine doubted he had ever felt more content and deliciously warm than he was doing right now, as he slowly woke up in Sam’s arms for the first time since they started dating –they had obviously had sex before, but it was the first time they had spent the night together after that–. Because it didn’t matter that Blaine had left Sam’s arms and turned around some time during the night, apparently Sam had gone after him and was now lightly spooning him in the sweetest embrace. And Blaine couldn’t wait until they were both in New York in a few months, sharing an apartment while they pursued their respective dreams, and getting to wake up in each other’s arms like that every morning of their lives. It was too good to be true, and Blaine sometimes felt his heart was going to burst with happiness at just the thought of it.

Very carefully so as not to wake up his boyfriend just yet, even in it was probably about time to do it, Blaine turned around in his embrace to face him and sighed in contentment at how beautiful Sam was, even in his sleep, even if his hair was all ruffled and his mouth was slightly open. He was glad Sam was going to listen to him and call that number of the modeling club Blaine had given him the day before: Sam was the most attractive man he had ever met, Blaine very well knew that, and there was no way he wouldn’t succeed as a model. And what wouldn’t Blaine give to see Sam make all his dreams come true… Gosh, he loved him so much that sometimes he felt he couldn’t even breathe if Sam wasn’t near.

Not wanting to start crying with emotion, he checked the clock on his nightstand and realized it was time to wake up sweet Sammy if they wanted to make it to school in time –after all, they needed to pass by Sam’s to get some clean clothes for him–. And he knew the best way to do it was to caress the soft skin on Sam’s face with the back of his hand.

“Wake up, sleepy head” Blaine softly muttered close Sam’s ear, wanting to wake him up in the sweetest possible way. “Come on, rise and shine, sweetie”

“Oh my god” Sam exclaimed, his lips breaking into a smile immediately at recognizing Blaine’s voice, even before opening his eyes. “Did I die and go to heaven?”

“No, but you’ve got somewhere to go right now, and that is school, so come on” Blaine gently urged him with a playful pat to his forearm.

“It can’t be morning, you’re here” Sam protested with a confused frown, his mind still slightly slurred with sleep.

“Actually, _you_ are here” Blaine corrected him with a chuckle. “We’re at mine’s, remember? You stayed last night”

“Oh, you’re right” Sam finally understood, before he gently cupped Blaine’s face and attracted him closer to kiss him. “Morning, babe”

“Good morning, honey” Blaine answered with an adoring smile that made Sam’s heart swell with love.

“Waking up next to you is… Let’s do this every time your parents are away, ok?”

“I don’t see why not” Blaine laughed before he kissed his boyfriend again and then slipped towards the edge of the bed to sit up. “But let’s plan it better next time, so we don’t have to go by yours to get you some clothes, as we’re going to have to do now”

“But it’s too early! Can’t I just borrow something from you?”

Blaine smiled at Sam’s whining, knowing how much his boyfriend hated early mornings, while he reached for the bottom drawer of the chest in front of him without standing up to reach some clean underwear because he still didn’t feel comfortable enough to walk naked around the room when he perfectly knew Sam would be avidly watching him. He knew it was stupid, as he had seen him naked before more than a couple of times and he didn’t have a problem while they were having sex… But it was different now, and he couldn’t stop feeling too self conscious of his body.

“Ok, first: I don’t think it’s your style” Blaine finally answered as he started dressing with his back to Sam. “Two: everybody would know you’ve slept here and I don’t know if I’m ready for all their mocking”

“Slept?” Sam repeated with a mischievous smirk.

“Well, we slept in the end, didn’t we? And three: I didn’t think you would want to go around with pants that wouldn’t go pass your knees and sleeves that wouldn’t even reach your elbows"

“Ok, you might have a point there” Sam agreed, until he really understood what Blaine had said. “But aren’t you exaggerating a bit?”

“Well, I’m short” Blaine answered matter-of-factly, even if Sam thought he could perceive some insecurities under his carefree tone.

“Surely not that much!” Sam contradicted him, hating to see Blaine getting dressed, instead of undressing as just some hours before, because naked was how he was at his most beautiful, even if the silly boy didn’t seem to get that, judging by the speed in which he was covering himself right then. “And who cares, when you’re also incredibly cute, sexy and the person I love?”

Sam chuckled when he noticed the instant crimson on Blaine’s cheeks at the appraisal when the latter turned around, glad that he could still make him blush like that even when he was only being honest, but Blaine quickly hid how moved he was and turned mockingly serious again.

“Don’t think I’m going to let you sleep with a bit of flattery, young man” he said, standing up now that he was fully dressed to make more of an impression.

“Just five more minutes!” Sam whined, even if only for the sake of it, as he turned on his stomach and pulled the covers over his head.

“No, come on” Blaine protested as he forgot all about Sam’s nakedness and took the covers from him in one go, even slapping Sam’s naked butt for good measure before realizing what he had done –to which he blushed again, this time more dramatically, and started stuttering in embarrassment. “Shit, sorry, it was a reflex, it was just there…”

Sam’s only response was to laugh wholeheartedly at his innocence, far from upset about Blaine’s actions and wishing Blaine would let himself go more often, as he had done last night. He understood nakedness was still kind of an issue for Blaine: after all, everybody had their own pace with intimacy, and they hadn’t had sex that many times yet. And he could see Blaine had some body issues, even if they didn’t seem to be too serious. So he respected his reticence, even if he didn’t share it, but he just wished he could make him feel more comfortable about it.

“Please, be my guest to do whatever you want with any part of my body” Sam reassured him with a laugh as he turned on his back, not caring at all that there were no covers hiding him anymore because well… that was Blaine and he didn’t have anything to hide from him, right?

Blaine watched his boyfriend, just lying there so comfortably, and he couldn’t help but thinking how much he envied him. Not only because his amazing body, but because of his confidence about it, the lack of any embarrassment at showing it off in front of him. And Blaine wished it would come a day he would feel that comfortable around Sam –because Sam was making it very easy, if the way he looked at him when they made love, with such adoration in his eyes, was any proof of how he felt about it.

“Any part?” Blaine mischievously asked with a deep voice as he kneeled on the bed, whispering in Sam’s ear and making him shiver as his hands teasingly ran along his body.

“Gosh, yeah” Sam gulped as Blaine’s hands ran over his chest and abdomen, going lower and lower with each passing second.

“Ok, I’ll keep that in mind” Blaine said with a cheeky smile as he retreated his hands, jumped from the bed and walked away.

“I hate you!” Sam yelled after him, disappointed at the resolution of their loving intercourse but at the same time glad to see Blaine being playful again.

“And what if I make you breakfast?” Blaine called from the corridor.

“Then I guess I’ll have to love you again” Sam answered as he also jumped from the bed and started getting dressed so he could enjoy Blaine’s magical hands in a different way –with his marvelous cooking.

“Good” Blaine yelled with a laugh from the kitchen, making Sam’s heart melt with love for the adorable boy.

**********

Blaine tried to keep up the pace with his boyfriend even if they were holding hands, but Sam was so excited that he didn’t seem to be aware of how fast he was walking along McKinley corridors. After all, Sam had been attending his modeling club for two weeks and wanted to introduce Blaine to everybody, which said a lot about how important Blaine was to him.

Blaine couldn’t help but smile at how excited Sam had been after his first session with them: they had obviously admitted him immediately –come on, who wouldn’t?–, and he seemed to be getting along with them very nicely. He said they had all been very welcoming to him, and they were helping him a lot.

Blaine had to admit it looked more professional than he had previously thought: the president of the club, some girl called Daisy, seemed to know a lot about the business, as she had already done a few small jobs with some modeling agencies, so she clearly must have some connections. And Blaine hoped they could help Sam fulfill his dreams.

“You must be Blaine” a voice took him out of his reverie, as he had been so concentrated in his own thoughts that he hadn’t realized they were already at the classroom’s door.

“Yeah, hi” Blaine shyly, but politely, answered as he offered his hand for the girl in front of him to shake.

“I’m Daisy” she answered in a warm tone as she shook his hand. “Sam won’t stop talking about you”

“Oh, won’t he?” Blaine looked at Sam with a tender smile, and the latter just shrugged his shoulders and kissed his cheek in agreement.

“Of course I do, you’re my life, remember?” Sam replied without the slightest hint of embarrassment even if they weren’t alone, making Blaine blush with the intensity of his emotions.

“Aren’t you lucky?” Daisy asked with a fond smile as she watched the couple’s interactions.

“That I am” Blaine agreed, squeezing Sam’s hand, still connected to his.

“I’ve got to talk to the Coach for a second” Sam announced when he noticed Coach Beiste walking near them. “I’ve got to ask her something about the strategy for our next game. I’ll be right back”

Both Blaine and Daisy watched as Sam ran after Beiste until he caught up with her and they started talking.

“He’s a great guy” Daisy said, breaking the uncomfortable silence with some small talk that Blaine was grateful of.

“He’s the best” he answered with a dreamy smile that said a lot about how deeply he felt for the blond boy. “Thanks for taking care of him”

“And isn’t it amazing how much he loves you?” Daisy continued, almost as if she hadn’t heard him. “I mean, he could have anyone he wanted and yet he stays with you”

“What do you mean?” Blaine asked in confusion, not sure he was understanding what she seemed to be implying.

“Oh, don’t take it the wrong way, honey. I just meant that he is surrounded by some of the most beautiful people in the city and yet he chose the next-door kind of type, didn’t he?” she explained in what sounded like the kindest way, even if it made Blaine feel very small and very aware of the differences between his and his boyfriend’s appearances. “He’s very generous. Don’t let him go”

Blaine didn’t have time to react before Sam was back, all smiles because he was very happy to see his boyfriend and his friend interacting like that. Because if Sam wanted for the modeling thing to work, he knew he needed Blaine at his side and on board with the idea.

“I’m back” he announced with a kiss to Blaine’s forehead, but one better look at his boyfriend’s face, and he immediately noticed the change in the mood. “Is everything alright?”

“Sure” Blaine answered, forcing a smile to reassure him. After all, it was just a silly comment and Sam didn’t need to know how much it had hurt him, right?

“Are you sure?” Sam insisted, doubtful.

“Hey, didn’t you want to introduce me to everybody?” Blaine asked, changing the subject so he would get the focus out of him.

“Of course, I want to show you off a bit!” Sam answered as he put his arm around Blaine’s shoulders and guided him inside.

And even if socializing and putting a mask over his face to hide his hurt pride felt like too big an effort at the moment, Blaine still did it because he knew it was important to Sam. And he started feeling better after a while when Sam introduced him to absolutely everyone in the room, proudly announcing him as his boyfriend. Because if Sam was proud of him, what else did he really need?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And... the drama starts here ;) 
> 
> Any thoughts?


	2. Chapter 2

Blaine tiredly put away his books on his locker after spending a long couple of hours on the library, because he didn’t have any intention of doing any more work at home that day. In fact, his intention was to ask Sam to go home with him and stay for the night, since his parents were away again and Sam had made him promise last week that they would wake up together every time they had the house for themselves. Not that he needed for Sam to convince him, of course, as there was nothing Blaine loved more that enjoying Sam’s company after an exhausting day: they would play some videogames, dance to some crazy music, have dinner together, cuddle in front of the TV and… well, they could pretty much do anything they wanted, Blaine thought with a mischievous smile. And that’s why he didn’t have any intention of doing any school work at home that day.

“Blainey?” he was taken out of his reverie by a familiar voice that made him turn around.

“Hey, Tey Tey” he answered with a smile when he recognized his dear friend, obviously coming out of one of her own clubs.

“What are you doing here?” she asked after a quick hug. “I thought Tuesdays were the only days in which you didn’t have to attend any club”

“Oh, they are, but Sam just started one and I’m waiting for him” Blaine explained. “You know, it would be pretty ungrateful on my part to just leave when he has been waiting for me every single day for the whole year!”

“Why can’t I get one of those boyfriend things?” She complained good-naturedly, making Blaine chuckle. “But you are always so busy, you really need some time to rest”

“I simply went to the library and did my homework. I mean, I would be doing that at home anyway, and this way I’m free when I get home…”

“Whatever” she answered, not at all convinced with the argument but knowing she was never going to convince her friend otherwise. ”And what is this new club Sam is attending to?”

“Oh, you know how he dreams about becoming a supermodel?” Blaine explained, so obviously proud of his boyfriend he couldn’t stop smiling, which Tina found extremely adorable. “Well, there’s this club where some kids with a bit of experience in the business help others understand how everything works, offer advice, hopefully even produce some contacts…”

“And who is that girl?” Tina asked in what could be described as a suspicious tone, as both of them got to see Sam finally appearing behind a door a few feet from them, followed by a girl and having an intense conversation with her.

“That’s Daisy, she’s the president of the club” Blaine explained, also looking at his boyfriend and the girl who were joking and laughing comfortably as other people –all of them incredibly beautiful– started leaving the classroom around them.

“Isn’t she a bit too… familiar with our Sam?” Tina observed, not even trying to be subtle, and when Daisy rested her hand on Sam’s forearm she got mockingly furious on her friend’s behalf. “Hey, stop touching him, you bitch!”

Blaine laughed at the absurdity of the situation, even if he knew that Tina was only half joking and she really thought that girl was taking too many liberties with Sam. But he didn’t worry, because he knew Sam and he was completely positive of his love for him. And besides, Sam was so charming, it was inevitable to fall for him, right?

“Leave her alone, she’s helping him a lot” Blaine tried to defend him because she knew she was a good friend to Sam, even if his own first impression of her hadn’t been that good –but that was just because he was too touchy sometimes, it was not really her fault.

“I’m sure she is” Tina sarcastically answered, almost as if she was hinting Daisy might want something from him.

“Tina, really, she is a very nice girl” Blaine insisted, because the fact he had been kind of offended by her words when he met her didn’t mean she was trying to hurt him, right?

“Ok, I’ll have to give her the benefit of the doubt, I guess” Tina conceded without much enthusiasm, before she kissed Blaine’s cheek as a farewell. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Blainedays”

“Bye, Tey Tey” he responded with a genuine smile to the girl he knew was only worrying about him.

Blaine waited patiently, resting his back against the lockers, while Sam continued talking with Daisy, everyone else having left already. And looking at them more closely, Blaine couldn’t help but somehow understand what Tina was talking about: not that Sam was going to fall for that, of course, he knew he loved him to no end, but Daisy… well, she really looked as if she might be flirting with him. Of course it didn’t have to mean anything, a lot of people flirted in a totally innocent way. But Blaine couldn’t deny he didn’t like it.

Of course he trusted Sam a hundred per cent, and he knew he would never cheat on him, but… what if he… what if he ended up developing feelings for her? Because honestly, she was amazingly beautiful, and quite charming also, and they had connected right away. And if the worst came to happen… Blaine didn’t think he could compete against a girl. Especially not a girl like that.

“Hey!” Sam’s happy yell as he walked to him took him out of his reverie. “You’re here!”

Apparently he had been so abstracted that he hadn’t noticed how Sam had finally finished talking to Daisy, so he was now walking to him. And he seemed so genuinely glad to see him that Blaine relaxed to no end –even if he didn’t want to admit it.

“Of course I’m here, you didn’t think I was going to leave without you, right?” Blaine answered, making a big effort to sound cheerful and to put all those negative thoughts out of his head as Sam slightly bent down to capture his lips in the sweetest kiss.

“Maybe… maybe it is because certain someone are not home and you want certain someone else to go home with you instead?” Sam joked as he threw an arm around Blaine’s shoulders and got him walking towards the exit of the building. “And hopefully stay for the night again?”

“Maybe…” Blaine playfully answered while putting his own arm around Sam’s waist, marveled at how only his presence at his side seemed to make it all better and he was feeling calmer already. “Ok, my parents aren’t home, that’s true, but I would have waited for you anyway”

“I know that” Sam answered with a fond smile and a kiss to his temple. “But let’s go by mine’s first so I can get some clothes ready for tomorrow. I have no intention of letting you out of my bed sooner than absolutely necessary”

“It’s my bed” Blaine playfully reminded him.

“I’m hurt” Sam joked, even bringing a hand to his heart to a better effect. “I thought everything we had belonged to the both of us now”

“You idiot” Blaine said with a heartfelt laugh, trying to disentangle from Sam’s embrace even if the taller boy only held onto him more strongly.

“Besides, I’m meeting Daisy first thing in the morning to some work-out before classes. We need to keep in shape, you know?”

“Oh” Blaine exclaimed, to which Sam couldn’t decipher how he felt about it.

“You don’t mind, do you?” Sam asked, wanting to make sure Blaine was ok with it.

“No, of course not” Blaine lied, because he didn’t honestly know why it bothered him. And well, it was important to Sam. “Whatever is necessary to fulfill your dreams, honey”

“Gosh, I love you so much, babe” Sam honestly said, even making him stop so he could stand in front of him and kiss him as he deserved. “And now come on, I don’t want to waste any more time when I know there’s an empty house waiting for us”

“Ok” Blaine answered, fondly shaking his head at his adored boyfriend.

**********

Their night together was as amazing as the first one was and, for the first time in his life, Blaine didn’t resent his parents for leaving him alone at home so many times because that meant he could wake up next to the person he loved the most in the world every now and then. And he wouldn’t change that for anything!

This time it was Sam the one to wake up Blaine, and he decided to do it with a full journey of Sam’s lips along Blaine’s skin that it was close to engage them into other activities that would have surely made them late. But in the end they contented themselves with showering and having breakfast together and, before they knew it, they were ready for another day.

Blaine insisted on driving Sam to school, even if it was too early for classes, as Sam had agreed to meet Daisy for some running before that, because there was no way he was going to make him take the bus if he could help it. He always had a lot of work to do, anyway, and the extra time in the library was always helpful. At least that was the argument he gave to Sam, even if the latter didn’t quite believe him because he knew he was only doing it for him. But there was no way to convince him otherwise, so in the end they both hopped into Blaine’s car.

Blaine parked the car in his usual spot and got out, his face falling at the sight of Daisy already waiting for Sam on the entrance. He had been hoping to arrive before her so he could avoid her –he couldn’t help it, there was something about her that instantly made him feel bad about himself–, but well… that was not an option anymore. He couldn’t even feign he had to do something on the car so Sam would get going because the blond had already grabbed his hand and was lovingly guiding him towards the school.

“Hey, Sam!” Daisy called him even if they were still a few feet away from the girl.

“Hi” Sam cheerfully answered in both their names as they finally arrived at her side, their hands swinging between them.

“Oh hi, Blaine” she added when she finally realized –or decided to acknowledge, he couldn’t honestly know– Blaine’s presence, looking as if she was trying hard not to look disappointed. “You’re coming too?”

“No, I...” Blaine tried to justify himself, but Daisy was looking so intently at him that he felt too ill-at-ease to find the right words, so Sam happily came to his rescue.

“No, he just came to kiss me goodbye, didn’t you?” Sam answered for him, looking proudly at him until it made Blaine smile shyly back. “He’s too busy, poor thing, he runs like a thousand clubs on top of being class president and having the best marks you can imagine”

“Well, a little exercise wouldn’t hurt anyway, you know?” she said, trying to sound nice so Sam wouldn’t notice her dislike for the shorter boy, but she took advantage of how Sam squatted to do his shoelaces –so he wasn’t looking– to pat Blaine’s belly as an obvious hint that he needed to lose some weight.

And Blaine doubted he had ever felt more humiliated than he was doing at the moment. He was self conscious enough about his belly, he hated it above everything else in the world and was very conscious of its presence, he didn’t need to be reminded of it. In fact, he was so mortified that there was no way he could find his voice this time.

“It would help you deal with all the stress and everything... and it keeps you in shape” Daisy continued in her sweetest tone, feigning that she was worrying about him –and she must have been good, judging by the nice smile Sam was sporting once he stood up again.

“Oh, the cheerios routines do more for his shape than any running could do, I think he’s good” Sam intervened in Blaine’s defense, though it was obvious he wasn’t aware of what was really going on. “I’ll see you later, babe”

Sam’s face approached Blaine’s to kiss him, but the tense –and maybe upset?– expression on his face immediately alerted Sam that something was not right.

“You okay?” he asked, and this time not even the way Sam worried about him, as usual, was enough to make Blaine feel better.

“Yeah, I just…” Blaine tried to find an excuse for his behavior, because the last thing he wanted was to ruin Sam’s friendship with someone who could help him so much just because of his stupid hurt pride, “I was making a mental planning of everything I have to do today and I zoned out, don’t worry”

“You sure?” Sam insisted, not buying Blaine’s story until the latter forced himself to smile.

“Yes, of course, you mother hen” Blaine answered with a forced chuckle that thankfully seemed to convince Sam, who smiled in response. “Have fun”

“Ok, see you later, love” Sam answered, finally giving Blaine the farewell kiss he had been looking for before. “Don’t work too hard!”

“I won’t” Blaine answered with a more honest smile at his boyfriend’s obvious love for him, and even waved him goodbye as Sam started running backwards with a smile for a few feet just so they could keep looking at each for a little longer.

But Blaine’s smile disappeared abruptly when Sam finally turned around and he could have sworn Daisy looked at him from the distance for a moment with such disdain that it made him feel smaller than he had felt for a long time.

**********

Blaine’s mood only went down when Sam texted him almost an hour later to tell him he couldn’t meet him again before class, because they had been running for longer than expected and he had just enough time to have a shower if he didn’t want to be late. And just in one text he apologized like three times, because Blaine knew Sam had probably noticed there was something wrong with him and had wanted to check on him again and now he couldn’t. But of course Blaine answered that it was okay, that he loved him, and that they would meet again in a couple of hours, at glee club.

But the truth was that every text Sam sent him after each class just to remind him how much he loved him –and yeah, Sam definitely had noticed something was not right, gosh, he knew him too well!– seemed to help a little and, by the time glee club arrived, he was feeling noticeably better and he welcomed Sam in the choir room with a hug and a smile.

“Come here, my love” Sam lovingly said as he also enveloped Blaine with his strong arms. “That’s how I love to be welcomed”

“And how about this?” Blaine playfully responded before giving Sam’s delicious lips a sweet kiss.

“That’s even better” Sam answered, returning Blaine’s kiss with fervor as he squeezed him more strongly to his chest.

“Oh, pleeeeease, you’ve been away from each other for like two hours, calm down already” Kitty playfully protested as she passed them by on her way to the seats and pushed them out of her way.

“Someone’s jealous of how sweet we are” Sam responded, his heart warming instantly when his words finally made Blaine chuckle, so he entwined their fingers together and guided him to their seats.

“Someone is about to throw out because of how disgusting you are” Kitty retorted, pretending to retch in disgust.

“Yeah, tone down your PDAs a bit, have some respect for the singles in this room” Artie added in a joking tone that made the boys see he wasn’t serious about his protest.

“Sorry” Blaine still said, just in case they had made anyone uncomfortable with their display.

“Don’t listen to them, you guys kissing is a pretty hot image” Brittany intervened in her usual no-filter way.

“Thanks?” Blaine answered with a doubtful tone that made Sam snort.

“Ok, guys!” Mr. Schuester announced as he finally made it into the choir room, to which everyone who was still standing took their seats. “Regionals are getting closer!”

“Yay!” Unique exclaimed, to which some of her classmates cheered and applauded, just as excited as she was.

“It’s time we start deciding which songs we are going to sing” Mr. Schue went on.

“Oh, I’ve got an idea!” Tina intervened. “If we want to make sure we have the jury on our side, and considering it’s going to be made up of only women this time, I say we take advantage of how good-looking some of our boys are and have them sing in very little clothes, like that time they made a mash-up of Tom Cruise’s movies”

“So now we’re pieces of meat or what?” Ryder protested.

“Oh yeah!” Kitty agreed, completely ignoring her male team-mate. “But we don’t want to see your legs! This time we want to see your abs!”

Blaine immediately started to fidget in his seat, uncomfortable at the idea of performing in front of such a big audience without a shirt. He doubted Mr. Schue was going to go along with such a crazy idea but well… sometimes he was the worst of them all, so…

“I don’t think everyone would be comfortable with that” Sam felt forced to intervene –both because he could remember the fight he and Artie had had over the McKinley calendar a few weeks ago, and because suddenly Blaine seemed to have paled at the idea –so he rested a comforting hand on his thigh.

“Oh, but you don’t all need to do it” Unique went on, oblivious of how much her words were going to offend some of the boys. “We want to impress the judges, after all. So I think Sam, Ryder and Jake are the obvious men for the job”

“That is incredibly offensive, Unique” Sam cut her off immediately, more than a little annoyed at her careless opinions and how they had elicited such silence on his boyfriend again. “And I’ll let you know that my beautiful boyfriend here is incredibly sexy”

“But it’s not the same” Tina intervened with a fond smile towards her best friend, sitting right next to her. “Blaine is different, he is more… adorable and cute. You just want to hug him and squeeze him until he can’t stand it no more, you know?”

Tina thought she was helping with her flattery, but when she playfully pinched his cheek, just to show how adorable he indeed was, Blaine wished the ground would swallow him whole. He was very aware of how his body wasn’t like Sam’s or Ryder’s by any means, the last thing he needed was to be reminded every few minutes. And just the fact that everybody could so easily see it… just made him feel more self conscious of his own defects.

Of course Mr. Schuester immediately interrupted them and made them see it was neither ethical –the boys were not pieces of meat, like Ryder had complained about– nor appropriate: those contest were elegant shows, after all, and it wouldn’t look nice to have some people with little clothing performing on them.

The conversation moved to other ideas, but Blaine found it very hard to concentrate. He needed to do something, if his body was really so horrible that everyone could tell. Maybe he could try going on a diet, to see if he could get rid of that excessive fat on his tummy. And maybe working out would help too. Sam would surely help him and give him some advice if he asked him, but he didn’t want him to know how he was feeling and why he wanted to do it, because he probably wouldn’t understand, being the perfect Adonis he was. And he didn’t want to ruin Sam’s friendship with Daisy, considering how useful she could be for him, because that was what would happen if Blaine told him how awful he had made him feel for sure. Yeah, that was something he needed to take care of his own.

“You ok?” Sam whispered to his ear as the conversation went on around them, his warm hand squeezing Blaine’s thigh in such a loving way that it almost brought tears to Blaine’s eyes.

“Sure” Blaine answered with what he hoped was a convincing smile.

“Don’t listen to them, you’re the sexiest person in this classroom”

And even if Blaine forced himself to smile again, Sam’s words had never felt more patronizing and untrue.

**********

Sam sighed in slight frustration: it was the third time he had tried making an impression, and still Blaine hadn’t reacted with more than a polite smile, when he should have been laughing his ass off, as he usually did. But he had been like that all day, and he had hardly spoken a word since they had finished dinner –which now that he thought about it, Sam was sure Blaine hadn’t eaten enough to keep a bird alive– and were now cuddling on Blaine’s bed, watching a movie. Sam loved the fact that Blaine’s parents weren’t back from their business trip yet, which meant he got to spend another day at his lover’s side, but this was not exactly as he had imagined it. Because in his imagination Blaine would be smiling and laughing and reacting to his nonsense, as usual, as the sweet and funny boy that he was.

Which didn’t leave much to the imagination: there clearly was something wrong with him. And Sam needed to know what so he could help him.

“You okay?” Sam said, not even bothering to beat about the bush or about the fact that he was interrupting the movie, because he had the strongest suspicion that Blaine wasn’t giving it much attention anyway.

“What?” Blaine asked, pretending he hadn’t heard, but Sam suspected it was more of a strategy to gain some time to think a plausible answer.

“I asked if you’re okay. You’re awfully quite today”

“Am I?”

“Yeah, you haven’t even told me how much you love me today yet” Sam joked, hoping that way it would easier to break the wall Blaine seemed to have built around himself today.

Much to Sam’s relief, Blaine chuckled at his nonsense and nestled up more closely to his chest, obviously feeling comforted by Sam’s caring.

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I love you, honey” Blaine said, even resting a sweet kiss to Sam’s cheek for better measure.

“Ok, but it’s not that nice when I have to beg for it” Sam joked, his hand moving on its own accord to those curls on the back of Blaine’s head that he loved to fondle so much. “Maybe you have stopped loving me already”

“I don’t think I could ever stop loving you, Sam” Blaine answered, sounding far more serious than Sam would have expected, as he had only been fooling around.

“I know, I was just kidding” Sam answered, reinforcing his grip on Blaine’s upper body because he surely seemed to need some comfort. “Are you sure you’re ok?”

“Yeah, of course I am” Blaine immediately tried to reassure him, as he hadn’t intended to get so intense and he surely didn’t want to make Sam worry when even he couldn’t understand why he was feeling so low –after all, he loved Sam so much… “And I know it sounded soppy but… it’s true, you know?”

“You little emotional cupcake” Sam exclaimed with a fond chuckle as he hugged him to his chest and lovingly kissed his cheek. “I’m never going to stop loving you either”

“That’s good” Blaine answered but, for the first time since they were together, a strange feeling invaded his heart and made him doubt Sam’s words.

And that thought made him incredibly sad. He knew Sam loved him to no end, he had demonstrated it greatly all the time they had been together –and ever before that–, and he knew he was being honest. But that didn’t mean that he was going to feel like that forever. How long would it be until he woke up one day and realized Blaine was not such a big thing? How long until Sam discovered he was too good for him and that Blaine would never live up to him? How long… until he stopped loving him?

“Blaine, I mean it: I’m always going to love you” Sam said when he seemed to notice some doubt on Blaine’s face, holding his chin between his fingers so Blaine wouldn’t have the chance to look away.

“I know” Blaine lied with a forced smile, hoping it wouldn’t belie his real feeling on the matter.

“Just let me show you how much I love you indeed” Sam said in a mischievous tone before capturing Blaine’s lips in a passionate kiss, hoping maybe some loving action would convince him more than words had done.

“And the movie?” Blaine asked against Sam’s lips, closing his eyes to enjoy Sam’s attentions while he could.

“It sucked anyway” Sam dismissed it as he pushed Blaine to lie on his back and climb on top of him.

“Ok” Blaine answered with a more honest chuckle that instantly warmed Sam’s heart.

Sam took his time in showing Blaine how much he loved him through his kisses, while his fingers gently caressed every inch of Blaine’s face, neck and chest. He didn’t want to rush it because he needed for Blaine to understand he didn’t only want to have a good time, but to connect with the person he loved the most in the world. And he knew he was doing right when Blaine sighed in contentment after a while, as if he was finally daring to believe how lost Sam would be without him.

Of course after a while things began to get heated, and Sam raised from Blaine’s body for a second to get rid of his own T-shirt, anxious as he was for their skins to come into contact. And he was about to roll Blaine’s sweater up too when a hand to his wrist stopped him unexpectedly.

“Wait” Blaine murmured, trying to regain his breath.

“What’s wrong?” Sam asked, looking intently –and worriedly– at him.

“Can we switch off the lights?”

Blaine didn’t know what had possessed him to make such a request, as they had always made love with the lights on and taken great pleasure in contemplating each other’s bodies and the reactions they were able to elicit on the other one. But suddenly Blaine couldn’t stand the thought of Sam seeing his naked body, that damned, awful roll of fat that he hated so much. If Daisy had been able to detect it even through his clothes… He didn’t think he would be able to stand it if he saw the slightest sign of rejection in his adored boyfriend.

“Why?” Sam asked, hi gaze a mixture of surprise and suspicion. “We’ve never done that”

“I don’t know, just… for a change” Blaine lied, knowing that if he told him the truth, Sam would try to convince him it was alright, that he was beautiful, but Blaine would know he was only being too nice –or even condescending– to him, and he wasn’t ready for that.

“Alright, I guess we can try” Sam answered even if he didn’t sound too convinced about it –whether it was because he didn’t like the idea or because he didn’t believe his excuses, Blaine didn’t honestly know.

Not giving his boyfriend the chance to change his opinion, Blaine reached out over the headboard and turned the switch off, leaving them in almost complete darkness, with only some lights from the street letting them make out each other’s silhouettes.

Sam knew there was something odd about it, and about Blaine’s behavior for the past few days, especially that day. He was quiet, almost sad, and he got lost into his own thoughts so frequently… And the light thing? Ok, he may just want to try new things but… he hadn’t sounded that convincing.

He thought about stopping their loving intercourse and asking him about it, but he knew pushing him to speak before he was ready usually didn’t work with stubborn Blaine and would probably make him shut down on himself even more. After all, and given how introspective he was being, he was probably trying to figure out whatever it was that was worrying him. And then, and only then, he would tell Sam about it. Everything, Sam knew that much. But not a minute sooner.

So when Blaine’s lips were suddenly on his neck and Sam noticed Blaine had finally gotten rid of his own t-shirt, Sam decided to forget about it for the moment. Maybe making love would make Blaine feel better, after all, more than any words Sam could offer. But he was surely not going to let it go, and Blaine would soon have to start talking. After all, there was no way Sam was going to see him suffer and do nothing about it, was it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I've got to make it clear that I don't feel like Blaine, or Darren, should be ashamed of his body in any way. I just wrote this because in Glee Blaine was really ashamed of his body once, so I thought I took advantage of that. But I love him like he is to no end!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay again, I don't know what's happening lately that chapters are twice as long than what I used to write! Hope you enjoy it, if you still remember what it was about!

Sam’s heart warmed when he looked at Blaine, sitting on the passenger seat at his side, and the latter smiled gratefully at him. He loved that he could still make Blaine smile like that, especially considering how low he had been feeling for the past few days –as much as he tried to deny it, Sam knew better, of course–. And that’s why Sam had decided to spoil him a little, as the doting boyfriend that he was, and had waited until Friday to ask him out on a romantic date, different from the dorky movie-marathons they usually had on Fridays –and which they both loved, of course–. But he wanted to do something different this time, and that’s why he had asked Blaine to dress up and was taking him to that Italian restaurant he loved so much. ‘Cause yeah, they could have gone to Breadstixx –the Italian restaurant was way more expensive–, but they would probably run into a hundred McKinley students. And what Sam wanted was to give Blaine a rest from school and have a night just for the two of them.

Blaine, of course, could see what Sam was doing, that he wanted to make him happy and spoil him to no end because he had noticed he was kind of down lately. And he couldn’t love him more for that. But it made him feel guilty, because he didn’t like it when Sam worried about him. He was such a kind person… Or it may really be because Sam loved him that much, he had to admit, even if he couldn’t understand why. That’s what he would surely say, if Blaine asked him about it.

But he was not going to. Because Sam would never understand how he felt.

He was taken out of his reverie when his door opened all of a sudden, and it wasn’t until Sam offered his hand to him that he realized he was not at his side anymore.

“Shall we?” Sam said, in a mockingly formal voice.

“Of course” Blaine answered with a genuine smile, taking Sam’s hand.

Because he didn’t know how long Sam was going to be at his side. And he intended to enjoy it.

Sam couldn’t be more of a gentleman: he guided him until their table and only let go of his hand to pull Blaine’s chair out for him, to which Blaine almost blushed. Fortunately he managed to just smile adoringly at his boyfriend as the latter sat in front of him.

“You’re amazing” Blaine said with a contented sigh.

“Well, finally you notice!” Sam joked, eliciting a chuckle from his boyfriend that immediately warmed his heart, considering how difficult it was to get one of those nowadays. “It’s just you that get the best of me”

“Wow” Blaine said, almost speechless at Sam’s words, and it was so tempting to believe he could really love him that much…

“And now let’s look at the menu before we both start crying like idiots, shall we?” Sam playfully continued as he made a big show of looking at the menu, not wanting to start the date with too much intensity. “So do you know what you’re going to order already?”

“Yeah… I think I’ll taste this new salad” Blaine answered, resignedly remembering about his diet.

“A salad? Really?” Sam asked in shock, almost as if Blaine had grown a second head.

“Yeah, why not?”

“Because you love this place, you should order some of those delicious dishes you love so much”

“I don’t know, I’m in the mood for some salad”

“Is it because I’m buying? That’s is, isn’t it?” Sam asked, his tone of voice completely different than a moment before –which broke Blaine’s heart. “You are ordering the cheapest thing in the menu so I don’t have to pay for it”

“No, of course not, Sam” Blaine hurried to explain, offending his boyfriend the last thing on his mind so he knew he had to be honest –at least partially. “Ok, I’m just trying to eat more responsibly, ok?”

“Are you on a diet?” Sam asked in surprise, as Blaine hadn’t mentioned anything until then.

“Not on a diet, just... I want to start eating healthier, that’s all” Blaine lied, wanting for Sam to stop worrying about him –which he would surely do if Blaine mentioned how strict he intended to be with his food from then on.

“Ok, I think that’s good” Sam answered, always in favor of a healthy lifestyle even if he didn’t think Blaine really needed to care so much all of a sudden. “Although I’m going to miss all those sounds you make when you’re enjoying your food”

“You idiot”

“I wonder what else I could do to elicit noises of pleasure like those out of you...” Sam joked, pretending to be thinking quite deeply until Blaine snorted, which had been his whole purpose all along.

“Shut up, Sam!” Blaine reprimanded him with a laugh that sounded like celestial music to Sam after so many days of somber moods.

“And what motivated that change?” Sam asked, full of curiosity, because he always wanted to know everything about his boyfriend –even if the latter was making it so difficult nowadays.

“Well, when you become a famous model you won’t want to be seen with a ball of fat, right?” Blaine pretended to joke so Sam wouldn’t worry, but it was quite clear that there was a lot of truth behind his words.

“Oh, Blainey, you know I’ll always love you, no matter what” Sam answered in the same playful tone, even though he was being completely honest and hoped his boyfriend would believe him.

“Wouldn’t I make you look bad?”

“To hell with what people say, Blaine, you’ll always be more important to me than them!”

Blaine smiled at his boyfriend’s almost angry words, but this time it didn’t reach his eyes: he knew Sam meant well, but he couldn’t help but to notice that Sam hadn’t denied he was indeed fat, he had just argued that he loved him “no matter what”. And even if he knew that thought should comfort him… it only made him even more ashamed of himself, now that he knew that even Sam seemed to think that about him. He had even encouraged him with the healthy eating without a second thought, come on, he probably didn’t know how to tell him he really needed to lose some weight!

Of course Sam had no idea what was going on inside of Blaine’s head at the moment. He thought they were speaking hypothetically, what would happen if Blaine ever got fat, since he wasn’t now, so he had hurried to reassure him that he would love him anyway, which was the absolute truth. He didn’t think his boyfriend had to worry about it for now, though, as right then he was the sexiest person he had ever met. But if he wanted to take better care of himself… well, of course he was going to support him! Wasn’t he the biggest fan of healthy diets, after all?

Never in a million years Sam would have thought his well-meaning words had hurt more than they had helped. Though he surely noticed how Blaine’s playful mood didn’t appear again during all dinner.

**********

Blaine hated Mondays more than anything in the world, and not just because they meant going back to school, but also because he didn’t have one single period to share with Sam, not even glee club. Damn it, they didn’t even get to have lunch together, because Blaine had his debate club at that hour! So yeah, he hated Mondays.

And if that wasn’t enough, today the teacher of the last period would not be coming, so that meant he had a lot of time to kill until his training with the cheerios, and he had been spending so much time at the library while waiting for Sam to finish his modeling club so often lately that he was way ahead on everything according to homework. What was he supposed to do?

Maybe… maybe he could use the time for some work-out? Of course, that would be the perfect solution to complement his diet! How hadn’t he thought before about needing to do some exercise if he wanted to get into shape? That was even more important that watching what he ate, right?

Fortunately for him, he remembered his beloved friend Tina shared that class with him, which meant she was free too. Maybe she’d want to have a run with him, it was always easier if you had someone to do it with, right? And he missed the girl, he had to admit they hadn’t hung out too much since he and Sam started dating.

“Hey, Tey Tey” Blaine happily greeted his friend as he neared her locker.

“Hey, Blaineybear” she answered with a smile, always happy to see him.

“Hey, do you have something to do now?”

“I was thinking about heading to the library for some homework, but you’re very welcome to suggest other ideas” she answered, noticing he was up to something.

“Well, I was thinking… we could maybe… I don’t know… have a bit of a workout?” Blaine suggested, pretending he was just coming with it.

“A what?” she asked, completely surprised at the idea.

“Maybe we could go for a run?”

“Where is this coming from?”

“I don’t know, I thought it would be nice to get a bit in shape, I have been feeling a bit tired and heavy lately” Blaine answered, not being entirely honest but knowing he could trust his friend with at least part of the truth.

“Heavy?” she repeated with a frown full of suspicion. “Blainey, this is not about what we said the other day at the glee club, right? About some of the guys performing shirtless at sectionals?”

“No, of course not”

“Because I didn’t want to make you feel bad about yourself, I meant exactly the opposite and I’m so sorry if it sounded as if I was telling you to…” Tina apologized, her face the absolute picture of misery, but Blaine didn’t even let her finish.

“Tina, it’s okay” Blaine immediately forgave her, because he knew Tina had not been aiming to offend him, and… well, she was right anyway. “It’s not that, I just want to feel healthier, really”

“And why don’t you run with Sam? Isn’t he doing it every other day with that Daisy bitch?”

“Don’t call her that!” Blaine reprimanded her, but he couldn’t help but chuckle at the insult because gosh, he hated her. “And yeah, he has, but come on, I couldn’t possibly keep up with them, right?”

 _And I don’t want Sam to worry about me,_ he added to himself. _Nor I want to spend more time than absolutely necessary with that bitch!_

“But Blaine, I don’t want to run!” Tina whined, already fearing she was going to let herself be convinced because she couldn’t possibly deny him anything.

“Weren’t you the one whining about gaining some weight the other day? I’m offering you a solution! And on top of that it’s something to do together, you and me. Come on, Tey Tey”

“That’s not fair, you know I can’t resist it when you give me those puppy eyes!” she protested, but Blaine knew she was only pretending because she could hardly hold her smile. “Alriiiiight, I’ll do it”

“Yay!” Blaine exclaimed as she hugged his favourite girl in the world. “You’re the best, Tina”

“I know that” she joked, even if she reciprocated the hug gladly. “Let me change into my sports clothes and I’ll meet you here in five minutes”

“Deal”

**********

“Blaine, slow down, will you?” Tina called from behind it for what seemed like the hundredth time, finally stopping to catch her breath.

They had been running for the better part of half an hour along the grounds around the school, and judging by how Blaine was acting, almost like a maniac or something, she was deeply regretting ever listening to him in the first place.

“Come on, Tina, you have to make a bigger effort” Blaine said, turning around to face her but never stopping running in his place.

“It’s been half an hour, Blaine, I think we’re good for a first time” she protested.

“No way, we can do way better”

“Not me”

“Only half an hour, Tina? Really?” Blaine said, looking judgingly at his friend.

“Excuse me?” she answered, surprised at his attitude.

“Are you really in that poor a shape?”

“What’s wrong with you anyway?” she asked, more than a little annoyed at Blaine’s behaviour. “I was making you a favour, you know?”

“Not that much, if you are quitting already” he continued, looking as if he was really annoyed at the inconvenience, which only confused Tina even more.

“Blaine, I can’t move a muscle anymore!”

“Then don’t tell me we don’t ever spend time together anymore, when this could have been a nice project between us”

“Dying of exhaustion, you mean? Hey, nice project” Tina retorted, her voice full of a venom she never thought she would have to use with her best friend.

“We have to give the best of ourselves, you know?” Blaine went on, trying to sound calmer at noticing the girl’s anger. “Half an hour of running won’t fix anything”

“Fix?” Tina repeated, forgetting about her annoyance with the confusion. “What do you mean?”

“Nothing” Blaine quickly answered, not wanting to give too much of his plans away. “Well, if you’re not willing to continue, I will do it on my own”

“Fine, you go” Tina answered, more sad than really angry anymore.

“Ok” Blaine answered in a neutral tone, before turning around and resuming his way without any more word.

Tina stood there, looking at him, dumfounded. Ok, it couldn’t be considered a fight, and it was not as if Blaine had been rightly rude to her or anything. But... he usually was the sweetest guy around, and in other circumstances he would have never left her there, but he would have escorted her back to the school while thanking him a million times for her kindness.

And what the hell did he mean with “fixing anything”? What was he trying to fix? She knew he had mentioned he wanted to get in shape, but... what was he trying to fix?

Not to mention how sombre and distant he had been for days now.

There was something going on with him, she was sure of that. She wasn’t going to talk to Sam out of respect of his friendship with Blaine, but she surely wanted to find out.

_**********_

Of course running for a full hour –with no previous training– wasn’t that easy, but even if Blaine felt more tired than he could ever remember, he felt as if it was not enough. He wanted to get rid of those extra pounds and rolls of fat, and he wanted it to be quick, because he couldn’t stand it anymore. So after coming back to the school building, and noticing it was still another half hour until his cheerio training, he decided to head for the gym and spend that long a time working out like a madman until his muscles wouldn’t stop protesting.

And that’s why after the cheerios session, which was as hard as usual with crazy Coach Sylvester, to say he was done was a statement: he felt he could hardly move, let alone walk, but he managed his way to the showers. The hot water on his sore muscles helped a little, but when he left the shower stalls, the pain came back with vengeance and it was all he could do not to cry as he tried to get dress.

**********

Sam looked again at his watch and sighed, as he had done the other then times he had looked at it in the last half an hour as he waited for his boyfriend. Because cheerio training had finished a long while ago –he had seen a couple of the girls leaving the place, their hair still wet after the shower–. So where the hell was Blaine? It was not possible that he had left, he knew Sam would be waiting for him. And that’s precisely why he always rushed to get ready after the training, because he hated to keep Sam waiting. So where was he?

More than a bit worried, Sam decided to search for him in the most obvious place: the locker room, as he was supposed to go there after the training, hoping to find him there. And if not, he would have to call him.

“B?” Sam asked as soon as he poked his head around the door of the locker room.

“I’m here” Blaine answered, so softly that Sam wasn’t even sure he had heard him.

Glad that at least he had found him, Sam entered the locker room and was surprised with the image that met his eyes: Blaine was sitting down on one of the benches, fully dressed –although slightly disheveled– but still barefooted. But what shocked Sam was his stillness, as Blaine was hardly ever still, and the absolute lack of energy in his posture, as if moving had suddenly become too big an effort. And Sam hated that image.

“Hey, you ok?” Sam worriedly asked as he knelt in front of him and rested one gentle hand on Blaine’s thigh. “You look terrible”

“Well, thanks” Blaine answered without a hint of humor in his voice –which surprised Sam even more.

“I didn’t mean that” Sam hurried to explain, afraid he might have offended his boyfriend. “What I meant is that you look as if you’re not feeling alright”

“I’m just a bit tired” Blaine answered, all sweetness again at the obvious worry of his boyfriend, as he tried to bend over enough to put on his sock. But it seemed like he was doing such a great effort that Sam took pity on him and tenderly did it for him.

“A bit?” he replied with a hint of sarcasm, as his hands move to dress Blaine’s other foot. “You look like you could sleep for a week”

“And I feel like that” Blaine admitted, not even thinking about stopping Sam as the latter moved to also to put on his shoes, as the gentleman that he was. “I’m sorry I was taking so long to get dressed, honey”

“It’s okay” Sam unsurprisingly forgave him in an instant when he finished with the shoes and moved to tidy up Blaine’s belongings in his sports bag. “It’s hard to be quick when you can hardly move”

“Yeah” Blaine admitted with a sigh, for once letting Sam do all the work because he felt completely incapable of moving.

“And why are you feeling like this? Are you catching something or…?” Sam asked as he turned to him and sat at his side. He wanted to take him home as soon as possible so he could rest, but he really wanted to know what was wrong with him.

“No, I’m just tired. Coach Sylvester surely worn us out this time” Blaine half lied because, even if the cheerios training sessions were very hard, he knew it wasn’t the main reason to feel so weary.

“I’m thinking about having a word with Coach, if she continues like this someone is going to get sick or injured…” Sam answered in a serious tone, squeezing Blaine’s thigh in a way that told him how worried he really was about him.

“No, Sam, it’s okay, I’m sure I’m just underslept or something, I will feel better tomorrow” Blaine lied, wanting to stop his boyfriend for making an scandal about something the Coach was not to blame for –for once.

“I mean it, Blaine… look at you!” Sam protested, indignantly looking at his boyfriend who could hardly move a muscle because of the many pains in his body. “Maybe we can talk to Principal Higgins”

“It wasn’t just her, you know?” Blaine finally admitted, knowing how stubborn his boyfriend was and how protective he was of him –stubborn and protective enough to stir up trouble if he didn’t avoid it.

“What do you mean?” Sam asked in confusion, noticing the guilty expression on Blaine’s face.

“I went running with Tina before the training session” Blaine confessed, lowering his gaze in embarrassment, even if he avoided to talk about the extra exercise he had done on his own, after that.

“You did? How come?”

“Because… I told you, I want to adopt a healthier lifestyle”

“Killing yourself?” Sam snorted, as right then Blaine looked like the complete opposite of healthy.

“It wasn’t that bad…” Blaine tried to defend himself, as he hadn’t really thought it was going to be so bad. “I may have calculated wrong my capacity, that’s all”

“You don’t say! And if you wanted to run why didn’t you come with me this morning?”

“Because I’m not in shape to go with you, I would have slowed you down, and you were meeting Daisy anyway”

“So what, I’m sure she wouldn’t have minded…”

“We don’t have to do everything together, you know” Blaine answered in a slightly upset tone, Sam’s reproaches not helping his already frustrated state of mind.

“I know that” Sam answered in a conciliatory tone, more than a bit surprised at Blaine’s reaction because it usually was very difficult to piss him off –and usually Blaine wanted them to do everything together indeed, just as much as he did.

“I’m sorry, Sam, I didn’t mean that… I just didn’t want to interfere between you and Daisy” he explained, because that much was true: he knew Daisy could help Sam, so he didn’t want to be an obstacle to their friendship even if he couldn’t stand her. And… the last thing he wanted was for her to think he was trying to control Sam because he was jealous of her.

“Babe, you’re always welcome to come with us” Sam tried to make him see, a bit worried that Blaine would think he was neglecting him because of his blossoming friendship with the girl.

“And besides it wasn’t planned, Tina and I just had a free period and I had the idea, and you know how much she bugs me to spend time with her” Blaine continued, ignoring Sam’s last words because the last thing he wanted was to spend more time with that hideous girl.

“You’re right, of course, it’s not like you’re obliged to do everything according to my timetable” Sam admitted in a conciliatory tone even if he wasn’t sure it could be considered a fight, but he still kissed his boyfriend in apology, just in case. “And it’s good that you find the time to spend with Tina, it wouldn’t be nice that you forgot about her because we’re dating now”

“Thanks for understanding” Blaine answered, gratefully kissing Sam’s lips as he tried not to feel guilty about his lack of honesty and his more than irritable mood those days.

A slightly uncomfortable silence fell upon them as Sam zipped Blaine’s bag closed, something that didn’t usually happened between them and told Sam more about Blaine’s state of mind than anything he could have said. It was almost as if they had lost their ability to communicate, as if Sam didn’t know how to read him anymore even if it was clear that there was something wrong with him. And he desperately needed to fix it. Or at least make Blaine feel better and let him know he was there for him whenever he was ready to open up to him.

“You know what? Since your parents aren’t home and I was going to spend the night at yours anyway, I’ll give you a nice and long massage to help you relax and loosen your sore muscles, I know how much they hurt afterwards if we don’t do that, what do you think?”

Blaine didn’t know what to say at that, because even if it was true that his parents weren’t home –and damn it, he didn’t remember having told Sam that!–, he hadn’t been planning on inviting his boyfriend to spend the night. It was not that he didn’t want to spend time with him, gosh, it was what he wanted the most in the world! But he knew Sam would expect them to have sex, and… Blaine was feeling too self conscious about his body and didn’t want Sam to see it naked, especially since he was sure he was gaining weight instead of losing it. So if Blaine refused… of course Sam would respect it and be all nice about it and everything, but he’d obviously ask what was wrong, as they always took advantage of their alone time. And Blaine didn’t want him to know and have him pity him.

But of course Blaine wasn’t going to tell him not to come to his house, he would probably get quite offended. Plus who was Blaine trying to fool, he desperately needed him at his side that day, and every day, because he loved him with all his heart and he didn’t know how long he was going to have him. He was too weak to resist him.

“It sounds great, honey” Blaine answered with a honest smile, his heart swelling with love at seeing how Sam’s face illuminated with his answer. “You spoil me”

“And I love doing it” Sam answered in all honesty as he bent down to kiss the top of Blaine’s head.

“Why?” Blaine asked, before he could stop himself –and damn it, good way not to show his insecurities.

“Why what? Why do I love spoiling you?” Sam asked, completely confused at the question because he thought the answer should have been obvious.

“Yeah” Blaine answered in a small voice, lowering his gaze in embarrassment as he felt Sam sitting down on the bench next to him again because that was who he was, and he was not going to let it go.

“Because I love you” Sam answered as he threw his arm around Blaine’s shoulders to attract him to his side in a side-embrace, feeling he needed the reassurance somehow. “Why else would it be?”

“It was just a stupid question, don’t mind me” Blaine answered with a smile as he let his head rest on Sam’s shoulder for a second, hoping the other would let it go.

Of course he was not going to be that fortunate.

“Yes, I’m going to mind you” Sam mockingly contradicted him, squeezing him more strongly. “I love you and I want you to feel better, you know? And I love spoiling you because then you give me the biggest smile and look at me as if I’m some kind of a hero or something, and that makes me feel so good. So really my reasons to spoil you are pretty selfish, now that I think about it…”

“You idiot” Blaine answered with a laugh that made Sam feel they were going in the right direction.

“So come on, let’s get going before you fall sleep on this bench” Sam suggested as he moved to put his arm around Blaine’s waist to help him.

Blaine couldn’t believe the gentleman he had as a boyfriend: Sam asked for the keys to his car so he could drive and gently accommodated Blaine in the passenger seat, even kissing his cheek for good measure before moving to his own seat. He made sure to let all Blaine’s favorite tunes sound through the car’s sound system, hoping that would make him relax, and once again made all the way around the car after parking in front of Blaine’s house so he could help him all the way inside.

“I could get used to this, you know” Blaine joked as Sam carefully deposited him on the couch, once they made it into the living room.

“Good, because I’ve got no intention of stopping” Sam answered with a smile. “Now I’m going to get us something ready to eat, if you don’t mind me taking possession of your kitchen”

“I’m not hungry” Blaine protested before he realized that Sam didn’t need to know about how he was not having supper those days, as he would certainly not approve of his methods to lose weight.

“Well, you’re going to eat anyway” Sam answered very sternly, leaving no doubt that he was not going to allow that attitude. “I know you feel too tired to eat, but you really need some nourishment after all the exercise you did today”

Blaine sighed in relief when Sam only thought he was tired. The least he knew about what was going on, the better. But he still didn’t want to eat, so he tried to protest.

“But Sam…”

“I’ll manage something light, ok?” Sam compromised so both of them could have it their own way. “You just rest, I’ll be back soon”

Blaine didn’t have the heart to protest anymore when Sam bended over to kiss the top of his head and then disappeared towards the kitchen, his need to take care of him giving him the confidence to walk around the house as if it was his own.

They ended up having some salad –as Sam remembered how Blaine was being careful with his diet nowadays– while they got up to date about everything that had happened to each of them that day. That was one of the things Blaine loved the most about his relationship with Sam: how they both cared so much about every single detail about the other and how easy it was to communicate. Or had been until then, because he had to admit he hadn’t been that honest with Sam lately in fear of sending him away with his insecurities –or the panic he had that Sam would realize that Blaine certainly didn’t live up to him if he opened his eyes to the reasons why.

He didn’t have the time to dwell too much on those negative thoughts before Sam was pushing him in his bedroom’s direction, ordering him to get ready for the massage while he finished washing up and tidying up the kitchen, because apparently he was perfect like that. And Blaine didn’t even protest that time, because lying on a bed sounding too tempting all of a sudden and he doubted he could be of much help anyway when he could hardly move.

So he obeyed and took advantage of the fact that Sam wasn’t in the room to change into his pajamas and then he lay down on his belly to wait for his perfect boyfriend.

“You awake?” Sam whispered when he entered the room a few minutes later.

“Yeah” Blaine answered, his voice muffled by the pillow under his head.

“Good, I was afraid you would already be asleep” Sam said with a smile as he jumped on the bed and knelt next to his boyfriend. “I brought one of those wonderful aromatic oils of yours from the bathroom, so you could have the whole experience”

“Gosh, you’re too good to be true” Blaine answered, sighing in anticipation of what was about to come. That is, if Sam would stop just staring at him. “What?”

“Do you expect me to massage your pajama or…?”

Shit. Why hadn’t he thought about that? In order for Sam to massage him properly he needed to uncover the part of his body that he most wanted to leave covered. He wondered for a second to tell his boyfriend to let it go, but he knew how stubborn Sam was and how there was no way he would understand –and Blaine couldn’t think of any plausible explanation anyway, so…

“No, of course not” Blaine answered in the end.

He fought to get rid of his pajama’s top without raising his body from the bed, which was no easy task, especially considering how everything hurt and he could barely move.

“Wouldn’t it be easier if you sat up for a minute?” Sam suggested even if he took pity on him and helped him free himself from his pajama’s imprisonment.

“Yeah, but… my back really hurts and I was hoping not to have to move” Blaine answered, hoping it wouldn’t sound as lame to Sam as it did to him.

“Well, then we really need to remedy that” Sam worriedly answered as he moved to straddle Blaine’s middle so he could more easily reach every inch of his back. “Gosh, Blaine, you’re really tense”

“I know” Blaine answered, sighing in contentment as soon as Sam’s hands made contact with his sore back.

“Thankfully I’m here to make it all better” Sam joked, pouring a generous amount of oil on his hands and rubbing them together to warm them up. “You’ll be as good in no time”

Blaine sighed again even if Sam’s work on his back was a bit painful at the beginning thanks to all the knots in it. But after that, it was so pleasurable that it was all he could do not to purr in bliss. His mind wandered again to that dangerous zone in which he wondered why Sam was so kind to him and how long would it be until he got tired of it and left him for someone better, but he was so tired that in the end he didn’t have the strength for more than close his eyes and enjoy the intimate moment with the boy he loved.

Sam remained silent while he lovingly massaged every inch of Blaine’s back, wanting for him to relax completely and not entice him in any silly conversation. Besides, that gave him the chance to think: why was Blaine acting so weird all of a sudden? A couple of weeks ago they were a perfectly happy couple, and now… everything had changed, even if he didn’t have a clue why. But suddenly Blaine looked uncomfortable, absent… even sad most of the time, but as much as Sam tried to get him to talk, he refused one time after the other and only assured him that he was alright.

But he wasn’t, Sam knew that much. Gosh, why did he have to be so stubborn? Why couldn’t just tell him straight away what was wrong, so he could help him? Unless… Unless he didn’t want him to know? Unless it had something to do with him? Had he maybe done something wrong that had hurt him? Sam suddenly realized Blaine had began acting weird soon after Sam joined the modeling club. It might be just a coincidence but… what if he had been neglecting him without even realizing it? After all, that same afternoon Blaine had angrily spat at him how they didn’t need to do everything together, as if it was some kind of revenge because Sam spent a lot of time with his new friends. Which he had to admit it was kind of true, but he never thought it would be a problem, since Blaine had never been the possessive kind of guy. But maybe that was why he hadn’t said anything: because he didn’t want to be possessive but he still felt neglected somehow.

And Sam couldn’t help but feeling guilty about it: Blaine was the best thing that had ever happened to him, and he shouldn’t be feeling like that. Damn it, he ran like a thousand clubs and he still found the time for him each and every day of their lives, he should have done the same. And he was going to: from then on, he was going to include Blaine in everything he did, he was going to make him a part of it so he would understand that he was more important to him that anything else. And he was not going to stop until Blaine’s smile was back in his face for good. Because he loved him with all his heart.

Only when he had made that resolution, he focused his attention on Blaine’s face and discovered he had fallen asleep. It was not a surprise, considering how exhausted he was and how much he loved Sam’s healing massages. Which made Sam kind of sad, because he had hoped that they could talk, then he would have kissed the hell out of him and well… some love-making would have been nice too. But all of that would have to wait, because Blaine’s wellbeing was more important, and it was clear that rest was what he needed.

When he considered the massage finished, given Blaine wasn’t enjoying it anymore anyway and his back seemed better, Sam stood up and went to wash his hands on the bathroom. Then he went back to the room, stripped only to his underwear –as he hadn’t even bothered to grab a pajama from his home, since he didn’t think he was going to use it– and slowly laid down next to his boyfriend, careful so as not to wake him from his much-needed slumber.

“Nighty night, my love” he whispered with a gentle kiss to Blaine’s forehead as he nestled up to his side and wrapped him with an arm around his upper body. “I love you”

Blaine didn’t move and didn’t make any reaction to Sam’s loving actions, but his heart clouded with guilt because he was very much awake. He hadn’t planned it, but suddenly feigning he was sleep sounded like the easiest way to avoid having sex with Sam –or more accurately, avoid being naked in front of Sam until he lost some weight–, so he had to take it.

It was the easiest way, yeah… but he had never felt more miserable than he did at the moment.

**********

Sam took very seriously his promise to himself to include Blaine in everything related to his modeling club, hoping that would show him how important he was for him. Of course Blaine refused one time after the other to go running with him and Daisy –even if Sam knew he was working out on his own–, claiming that he was not fit enough and would slow them down, and Sam couldn’t help but to respect his decision because he was very firm about it. But of course when Sam was invited to a party with some of the members of the modeling club in a posh pub one Friday, in which Daisy promised there was going to be some talent scouts so it seemed pretty important, he didn’t hesitate to invite his boyfriend to go with him. And well, he was sure they were going to have fun, being a party and everything, and hopefully Blaine would again smile like he meant it.

“Sam, are you sure it’s okay for you to bring me over?” Blaine asked for what seemed the hundredth time as he parked the car. “I mean, you’re the one who was invited, I don’t know what I’m doing here”

“B, I told you it’s okay” Sam patiently answered as Blaine turned the ignition off and turned to look at him. “I know it sounds fancy, but it’s just a party”

“You said it was very important”

“Then all the more reason for me to bring my boyfriend with me, right?” Sam argued, smiling at how Blaine seemed to blush adorably at that. “Nothing is more important to me than you, I want to share this you”

Of course Blaine didn’t have the heart to protest any longer after that. Because yes, being there with those people… with Daisy… It probably was the last thing he felt like doing. But Sam was right: it was important to him, so he needed Blaine at his side. And Blaine loved him so much there was no way he wouldn’t make an effort.

“Come on” Sam encouraged him as he offered his hand to him, and it wasn’t until then that Blaine realized he was at his other side, opening the door to him as the gentleman that he was.

Blaine let himself be pulled out of the car, and smiled when Sam let go of his hand to put his arm around him instead, lovingly squeezing him to his side. He had been very attentive and loving lately, even more than usual, and Blaine suspected that Sam had somehow noticed how he had not been feeling that well lately and wanted to make it better. He needed to make a bigger effort to hide it, as the last thing he wanted was for Sam to confront him about and make him spill his deepest secret: that he was terrified that Sam would someday realize he was not good enough for him.

Sam had agreed to meet Daisy at the school’s parking, since he didn’t know the place, so the girl offered to drive him there.

She was almost as punctual as they were, and only a couple of minutes later, a car parked right next to them and Daisy came out of it.

“Hey, Daisy” Sam merrily said when the girl was finally at their side –and Blaine had to admit to himself that she was looking amazingly beautiful that evening –which didn’t help his self-steam in the least.

“Hey, Sam” she answered with a reciprocating smile, though hers surely didn’t look as natural and honest as Sam’s. “You’re looking gorgeous!”

“Thanks, we did our best” Sam answered with a smile to his boyfriend, apparently not having noticed how the girl had completely ignored Blaine’s presence. “And look at you, you look beautiful!”

“Oh, I’m sure you tell that to all the girls” she joked with a flirtatious tone as she playfully slapped Sam’s chest, making Blaine’s guts churn with jealousy. “Come on, jump in already, we don’t want to be late. Blaine, it was nice seeing you again”

“Oh no, he didn’t just drive me here, this time he is coming with us” Sam explained with a tender smile towards his boyfriend before turning to the girl again. “That’s okay, right?”

Daisy was left speechless for a second, obviously not knowing how to answer. And Blaine knew exactly why: she didn’t want him to come but she didn’t want to look bad in front of Sam. So he decided to make it easier on everyone.

“It’s okay, Sam, I told you it was not a good idea” Blaine said, resting a hand on his arm, almost as if he was imploring him to let it go.

Of course Sam was much more stubborn than that, especially when he thought he was making him happy that way.

“Why not? It’s a party, the more people there to have a good time the better, right?” Sam answered with his usual enthusiasm, oblivious to what was really happening between the other two. “Tell him, Daisy”

“But Sam, if he doesn’t want to come…” Daisy responded, but that was surely not what Sam wanted to hear.

“What?”

“I mean... that it’s ok, no one is bringing their boyfriends and girlfriends anyway, maybe you will feel excluded” Daisy continued, addressing Blaine directly this time.

“Why would he, when I’ll be at his side all the time?” Sam laughed as if that was the most absurd argument he had ever heard, and then took Blaine’s hand in his. “And so will you, he won’t be alone”

“Sure” Daisy reluctantly answered, looking more than a little disappointed. “Of course, if he is sure…”

“He is. Right, babe?” Sam asked, looking at Blaine in that loving way that always made it impossible to him to say no.

“Sure” Blaine answered with a forced smile that seemed to content his boyfriend enough.

“Then let’s go, we don’t want to be late, do we?” Sam said, jokingly repeating the girl’s words. “I’ll even let you go on the front seat, babe”

And for once Blaine smiled more honestly when he noticed the obvious annoyance in the girl as she moved to jump in the car.

**********

Sam hadn’t been joking when he said it was an important party: there was a lot of people, some of the most attractive young men and women he had ever seen –though of course none of them could overshadow his boyfriend, who was looking specially radiant that evening and seemed to be having such a good time that Blaine even forgot about his reticence to be there after a while.

Because looking at him, talking to everybody, joking, making impressions and almost being the center of the party warmed Blaine’s heart to no end, knowing that his boyfriend was so happy. And especially if he considered that, while doing that, Sam had hardly moved from his side, even keeping an arm around his shoulders or his waist most of the evening so he would make sure that Blaine wouldn’t feel lonely even if he hardly knew anyone. And Blaine started wondering if maybe he had been exaggerating, and maybe Sam really loved him that deeply that nothing would come in their way. And just that thought made him happier than he had been for weeks.

“I’m going to grab something to drink” Sam announced, and he hurried to explain when Blaine looked quizzically at him. “I didn’t mean any alcohol, you killjoy, just some refreshments”

“Okay” Blaine answered with a chuckle, resting a kiss on Sam’s cheek in mocking apology for his doubts.

“I’ll be back in a second. Will you be alright here on your own?” Sam asked, looking genuinely worried about him, which only made Blaine fall in love with him again.

“Of course” he answered, tenderly caressing Sam’s arm.

“Love you” Sam answered, leaving a quick peck on Blaine’s lips before disappearing amongst the people towards the bar.

Blaine remained looking at him with a smile on his face, and he didn’t even bother making light conversation with anyone he didn’t know because he knew Sam would be back in a second to keep him company –the only company he really needed that night.

Of course he was not going to be that lucky.

“He’s having such a great time” Daisy said as she suddenly appeared at his side, following his gaze until she ended up looking at how Sam kept joking and talking with everyone on his way –though Blaine kind of suspected she had been looking at Sam way before that.

“He is” Blaine politely answered, fondly smiling at his extrovert and funny boyfriend, who seemed to be well in his element there.

“Pity you aren’t enjoying it that much” Daisy commented, trying to sound casual.

“Oh, I am” Blaine corrected her in the kindest way, as the last thing he wanted was to have problems with such a dear friend of his boyfriend, even if he could hardly stand her.

“Come on, Blainey” she retorted with a sarcastic voice, and Blaine hated how she called him   _Blainey,_ even if lot of people called him that way –Tina, his brother, even Sam sometimes– and he had never cared, but somehow she made it sound disgusting. “I can see it in your face, you would so rather be anywhere else”

“No, of course not” Blaine denied, more seriously this time.

“You don’t have to lie to me, we’re friends here” she went on, even when they both knew that was not even half true. “I told you you shouldn’t come. I can see you’re feeling so out of place. I mean, it’s normal to feel awkward amongst people so beautiful. You should have stayed at home or at a party more of your league so you wouldn’t feel so out of place, Blainey”

Blaine was so shocked by the girl’s cruelty that he couldn’t find his voice to answer her. Besides… she was probably right. He had let himself be fooled for a while that he could be a part of that, that there was nothing wrong with him, that he could remain at Sam’s side forever… but it wasn’t true. He knew he was not good enough for Sam –come on, she was right, the place was full of people ten times more attractive than he was, and Sam could have anyone he wanted– and the cruel way she had put his feet back in the ground hurt so much that he only wanted for the ground to swallow him whole.

He didn’t even have the time to find an answer, or even the ability to speak, before Sam was heading back to him, all smiles as he handed him some glass.

“Hey, I brought you some coke” Sam announced, and then moved closer to his ear to whisper something only for him to hear. “Diet coke, so it won’t interfere with your diet”

And even if Sam had the best of intentions, which was supporting him in something he knew was important to Blaine, his reminder about how Blaine needed to lose some weight was the final straw: Blaine needed to get out of there, quickly, because he couldn’t stand being there a second longer.

“Do you mind if I leave?” he asked, and he hated himself for not being able to find a better way to say it.

“What? Why?” Sam asked, practically in shock at the sudden turn of events.

“It’s just... I don’t feel that good and I’d rather go home and lay down for a bit” Blaine lied, knowing that feigning he was ill was the only way Sam would ever let him go.

“What’s wrong?” Sam asked, and Blaine hated to be the cause of that worry he could see in Sam’s eyes.

“I don’t know, I have a horrible headache and I feel so tired...”

Sam rested his lips on Blaine’s forehead to check his temperature, impossibly caring, only making the latter feel even worse about his lie.

“You don’t seem to have a fever at least”

“I’m probably just exhausted after the hard week I had… A bit of laying down will do wonders for me, I’m sure” Blaine tried to make light of the situation so Sam wouldn’t worry too much.

“Sure, of course, I’ll take you home” Sam quickly accepted, because if Blaine was admitting he was feeling poorly, he had to be feeling really sick, as he usually tended to diminish the importance of any ailment or pain he had.

“No, Sammy, you stay, Daisy can take you home after the party” Blaine immediately opposed, as the last thing he wanted was to ruin the party for Sam –especially when he was not really sick, he would never forgive himself.

“I’m not going to let you go alone, especially if you’re not feeling well” Sam protested, putting Blaine’s welfare before everything else.

“No, Sam, I’m not dying or anything, and this is important to you. You don’t know what could come from this, maybe you’ll meet someone in the industry, and you are having such a great time…”

“But Blaine...”

“I’ll be ok, don’t worry”

“You sure?” Sam insisted, not quite convinced, but he knew he was going to lose the battle because Blaine was so damned stubborn…

“You’re the sweetest thing ever” Blaine answered with a grateful kiss to Sam’s cheek. “I’ll talk to you later. Go and have fun, love, don’t let me spoil your night”

“Ok” Sam finally conceded, even if it was clear that his mood was not as happy and carefree as it was a minute ago. “I love you”

“I love you too” Blaine answered, kissing Sam’s lips before finally letting go of his hand. “I’ll see you tomorrow, love”

Sam didn’t say anymore as he watched his boyfriend go, feeling more than slightly guilty about letting him go when he was feeling ill even if Blaine hadn’t really given him another option. It wasn’t like he could impose his presence to him, right? If he was feeling that bad, he probably only wanted to crawl into bed and sleep, and he was such a sweetheart that he didn’t want for Sam to miss his party when he was not going to be a good company anyway. But still… Sam couldn’t shake out the feeling from him that Blaine was keeping him away for some reason. And that thought scared the hell out of him.

“You ok, Sam?” Daisy asked all of a sudden, and it wasn’t until then that Sam realized she had been standing there all along, so concentrated he was on his boyfriend.

“Yeah, sorry” Sam immediately apologized for ignoring her.

“Aw, you’re worried about your boyfriend” she answered, trying to sound sweet.

“Yeah, a bit” Sam admitted, opening his heart to his friend because he was too worried to keep it all to himself. “He doesn’t usually get sick, but he has been feeling poorly for days now” he explained, thinking that maybe the reason for his sometimes strange attitude or his total exhaustion from a couple days ago was because he was not feeling well.

“Maybe he’s catching something”

“I should probably go with him” Sam said with a sigh, unconsciously starting to walk towards the exit of the place when guilt won over any other feeling.

“I’m sure it’s nothing serious” Daisy rushed to get that idea from his head, even grabbing Sam’s arm to stop him. “Maybe he just wasn’t in the mood for partying”

“He would have told me if that was the case, we tell each other everything” Sam said before he realized that may not be entirely true lately, as he suspected Blaine was keeping some things from him.

“But he probably didn’t want to spoil your night, you know?” Daisy added, desperate to convince him.

“You think?” Sam asked, knowing she was probably right: Blaine cared very much about Sam’s dreams, of course he would never want to ruin that party for him, he loved him too much for that.

“Maybe… he wasn’t feeling comfortable here” she tried to hint, without being too obvious as the last thing she wanted was to anger Sam. “After all, he isn’t like us, is he?”

“What do you mean?” Sam asked, sounding a bit offended on Blaine’s behalf even if he wasn’t sure what the girl meant.

“Oh, don’t take it the wrong way, darling, I just mean he doesn’t belong to this world like we do, he has… other interests…” Daisy said and then decided it would be wise to give Sam time to think about it without getting him on the defensive. “Oh, excuse me for a moment, I’ve got to talk to my agent for a second”

Sam stayed rooted at his place for more than a few seconds after the girl disappeared. He didn’t know what to think about the “he isn’t like us” part, because he hadn’t like how that sounded at all –he and Blaine were made for each other, there was no way they could be that different–, but… could it be true that he didn’t feel comfortable in that new world Sam had presented to him? And that’s why he didn’t dare to say anything, because he didn’t want to hurt Sam? Was it possible that Blaine didn’t like that world Sam wanted to be a part of so badly? He perfectly knew Blaine would do the effort for him because he loved him and wanted him to be happy. But Sam wasn’t sure he wanted to make him go through that, if it so obviously troubled him.

Or maybe he was just really feeling ill and needed to lie down and that was it. Maybe he was just blowing things up and Blaine just needed some rest.

But, as hard as he thought about it, Sam didn’t seem to be able to find the answer.

**********

Blaine hardly said anything to his parents when he arrived home, even if they asked what was he doing there so early if he was supposed to go to a party, but he excused himself saying he was not feeling well and disappeared towards his room, even if his mother promised to check on him and get him some supper after he had had the chance to sleep for a bit.

He felt a renewed guilt at the lie, as now he was not only making Sam worry but also his parents, but he couldn’t help it: his illness was fake, but the need to hide under the blankets and disappear from the world until at least the next day was very real.

He was about to change into his pajama when his phone vibrated in his pocket. Knowing who it was before even needing to check, he got it out of his pocket. Of course it was Sam, worrying about him, as usual, instead of having fun at the party like he was supposed to do. At least that was why Blaine had left, to be sure he wouldn’t notice how he was feeling or he would surely spoil the evening for him. In fact, Sam had already called him twice, and Blaine had refused to pick it up because he knew he was not that good an actor and Sam knew him too well. So in the end Sam had to content himself with leaving a message on his voice mail, and Blaine rushed to hear it.

_Hey, babe, I’ve called you, but I guess you must be sleeping already. I just wanted to ask you how you were feeling and if you needed me to come, because I would surely do it. But since you’re sleep… I guess I will have to wait until tomorrow to hear your beautiful voice again._

Blaine couldn’t believe how incredibly sweet his boyfriend was and… it only hurt so much to think that all that love he seemed to have for him would probably go away too soon when he continued shining in that dream world of his and Blaine was left behind in his mediocrity.

_Please let me know if you need anything, ok? I’ll come over tomorrow to see you. Even if you’re not feeling good enough to hang out, it’s Saturday and you’re not going to get rid of me so easily, ok? Even if I have to take care of you ;) See you tomorrow, babe. I love you._

Blaine was dying to call him back, or at least sent him a text and remind Sam that he loved him back so much, but then he would need to explain why wasn’t he picking up the phone if he was ok, so in the end he just threw the phone on the bed in an angry gesture and started to undress to change into his pajamas, hoping to get some time to compose himself a bit before his mother would undoubtedly come to check on him.

But as he took his sweater and undershirt off, he caught his reflection on the mirror and, without being able to stop himself, he moved to stand in front of it for a second. And the only thing he could see was that hideous and disgusting roll of fat in his belly that didn’t seem to reduce in the slightest whatever he did. He hated it so much… he hated himself so much…

And he burst into tears.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't keep apologizing, so...

“Hey” Sam whispered in a hushed tone as he slowly opened the door to Blaine’s room, just in case he was asleep –after all, Blaine’s mother had warned him that his boyfriend hadn’t left the room all day and had refused to eat anything, so he was probably still feeling poorly, as he had the night before at the party.

“Hey” Blaine answered, much to Sam’s relief, so the blond smiled and rushed the rest of the way into the room, suddenly anxious to spend some time with his beloved boyfriend.

“How are you feeling?” Sam asked while trying to recover his balance after tripping over Blaine’s shoes thanks to the almost complete darkness of the room –and Blaine must be feeling really bad if he had just left his shoes lying there, given how much of a control freak he was. It was as if… “Haven’t you moved from bed all day?”

“No” Blaine confessed, knowing it was absurd to deny it because he knew Sam knew him too well and would see through his lie.

“That bad, huh?” Sam answered his own question –as Blaine hadn’t– in a sympathetic tone while he carefully lay down next to him.

“I guess” Blaine finally answered, unconsciously turning on his side to curl on Sam’s chest as soon as he felt him next to him, instinctively needing the contact almost as much as the air he breathed.

Sam rushed to embrace him and hold him as close to his chest as he could physically manage, somehow sensing how much Blaine needed all the comfort he could provide –even if the reasons were not the ones Sam believed–. But he couldn’t help but worry… it was so unusual to see Blaine so defeated, just lying around in the dark in the middle of the day, instead of doing a million things at a time as he usually did –even when ill–. It was probably the first time Sam had seen Blaine’s room not in the tidiest possible way, and the fact he hadn’t even bothered to get dressed or have his hair gelled even if Sam had texted him to let him know he would be coming to see him…

“So how was the party?” Blaine asked, because no matter how lousy he felt, he still wanted to know everything about Sam, especially something so important to him.

“Not that fun once you left” Sam honestly answered, because whatever he was doing, he always, always, preferred to have Blaine at his side.

“I’m sorry about that, I wasn’t feeling…” Blaine tried to apologize, feeling guilty about how he had abandoned Sam in such a way, but of course the latter didn’t even let him.

“Don’t be silly, you were ill” Sam immediately forgave him with a kiss on the top of his head, making Blaine feel even guiltier than before because of his lie. “Your mom said you haven’t eaten anything all day”

“I’m not hungry” Blaine answered in what felt almost like a mantra, because he had been using that excuse with his mother and even Sam to avoid any meal he could manage in his desperate attempt to lose some weight.

“Does your stomach hurt?” Sam asked, obviously worried.

“A little” Blaine lied, lowering his gaze so Sam wouldn’t be able to read his eyes, as he usually did.

“That’s quite a bug you seemed to have caught” Sam commented, squeezing Blaine’s body more strongly to his as if he could protect him that way from a world that was trying to hurt him. 

“Yeah” Blaine halfheartedly agreed as he hid under Sam’s chin.

“It’s a pity you couldn’t taste any of that delicious food from the party yesterday” Sam explained with a chuckle as he remembered it. “Gosh, I ate so much I must have gained like four pounds at least!”

“Come on, don’t be so exaggerated”

“I mean it! I still feel so stuffed I could probably roll my way down the stairs when I leave!” Sam joked, but he was slightly disappointed when all he could elicit from Blaine was a polite smile –but he didn’t blame him, he was probably feeling too lousy to laugh. “I need to take better care of myself or the modeling thing isn’t going to work”

“But Sam, you’re… you’re perfect” Blaine honestly said, even rising his head to look at his boyfriend in disbelief: couldn’t Sam really see how perfect he was?

“Awww, come here” Sam fondly exclaimed before cupping Blaine’s face to attract it to him so he could kiss his delicious lips in gratitude for his words. “You’re so sweet… but let's be honest, I have to reduce my body fat percentage”

“That’s not true” Blaine replied, almost indignant because… seriously? Had Sam seen himself in the mirror?

“It is! Look at this!” Sam answered, and even if he didn’t seem too upset about it, he still lifted his shirt a bit and grabbed a pinch of the natural fat on his abdomen to make a point. “I need to be careful if I don’t want to become a fatty” 

Blaine tried not to show it, but he felt like bursting into tears at Sam’s words: if Sam, who had the most amazing body he had ever seen, thought he needed to make a bigger effort… well, what must he think of him? When he was really a fatty, and short and completely unattractive? If Sam’s perfect body wasn’t enough… then what hope did he have? How could he live with the thought that nothing he did was ever going to be enough?

“But I think I will make an effort and I'll eat with you, because you really need to get some nourishment into you so you can beat your illness” Sam continued when he noticed Blaine’s silence and once again attributed it to his ailment.

“I’m not hungry, Sam, I told you” Blaine immediately protested.

Because if the diet was not working… the only answer he could think of was to eat as little as possible. Only until he reached his goal, of course, he didn’t have an eating disorder or anything… he just needed to lose some weight.

He had to do whatever was necessary before he lost Sam for good.

“I know, but you should make an effort” Sam insisted, worrying about him, as usual.

“Sam, I… I feel nauseous, I can’t possibly eat anything” Blaine again refused, knowing his faked illness would justify his negation to eat without erasing too many questions.

“But…” Sam insisted once more.

“Leave it, please” Blaine implored with his eyes getting glassy with some tears he couldn’t control, but for once he didn’t hate them so much because it was enough to make Sam stop insisting in an instant.

“Ok, ok, whatever you need, my love” Sam immediately reassured him, holding him close to his heart with the hope of stopping what he hated the most in the world: to see Blaine cry. Even if it was probably because Blaine was feeling lousy and vulnerable with his illness, no need to worry too much.

Right?

But the way Blaine clung to him after that even if he hardly said a word the rest of the afternoon, made Sam wonder if there was something else troubling him.

**********

Of course Sam didn’t stay for the night because Blaine’s parents were home, but he was back the next day, ready to spend the whole day with his sick boyfriend. Blaine seemed to be in a slightly better mood, but he refused again to eat claiming he had had a hearty breakfast and didn’t want to risk getting sick again. Sam had to admit it sounded reasonable even if he wasn't entirely convinced, but he remembered his pleading tears from the day before and he didn’t have the heart to insist.

After all, a couple of days with little food didn’t hurt anyone that much, right?

When Blaine assured him he was going to school the next day because he was feeling better –he couldn’t keep lying any longer and he really didn’t want to miss any school days so close to graduation–, Sam asked him for the keys to his car so he could take it and pick him up, instead of the other way around, because it would made him feel as if he was taking care of him. And judging by the way Blaine finally smiled at him, Sam was proud to know he could still make him happy like that.

So that’s why on Monday morning Sam parked Blaine’s car in front of his house and texted him to let him know he was there. It only took him half a minute to appear, and Sam’s face immediately brightened at seeing his boyfriend up and around, no signs of the illness that had kept him in bed for two days. But one better look at him, as Blaine approached the car, and Sam couldn’t help but frown with confusion: what was he wearing? And why did it look so big on him?

“Hey, Sammy” Blaine lovingly said as he got into the car and kissed his boyfriend’s lips in greeting.

“Hey, love” Sam answered, but he needed to know. “What are you wearing?”

“A sweater” Blaine answered, trying to sound casual even if it was obvious that the question made him uncomfortable.

“I can see that. What I meant is... are you sure you didn’t mess up with the size?”

“No, it’s perfect” Blaine answered, resisting the urge to pull at the hem to cover himself even more because he was aware it was already pretty long.

“It’s very different from your usual tight clothes” Sam observed, trying not to sound judgmental because Blaine had been kind of sensitive lately and he didn’t want to upset him.

“Yeah, well, maybe I needed a change” Blaine dismissively answered as he fastened his seat-belt, making it clear that he didn’t want to continue discussing the issue.

And the issue was that Blaine was wearing the biggest piece of clothing he had, one sweater his brother Cooper had forgotten at the house when he moved out, so it was easier to conceal the horrendous form of his body. He usually wore tight clothes, and he could facepalm himself at how stupid he had been until then not to realize that’s why everybody noticed so easily how fat he was. But that was not going to happen anymore and he was not going to dress like that again, at least not until he lost some weight.

Of course Sam refrained from giving his opinion on that: he clearly preferred his gorgeous boyfriend in his usual tight clothes that accentuated his perfect and irresistible body –and with that style that made him so unique–, but he was not going to say anything because he didn’t want to be one of those people who tried to change their partners. If Blaine wanted to wear that, he was going to support him, as he always did. And well, he looked incredibly cute anyway, so it didn’t really matter.

Though he couldn’t help but feel how weird it felt to see him dressing in such a different way from his usual style, and Sam wondered why Blaine had suddenly such an urge to make so many changes.

“Aren’t you changing a lot of things lately?” Sam tentatively asked, knowing he was probably imagining things –but at the same time fearing he wasn’t.

“And is that bad?” Blaine answered with a smile, but also with a hint of defensiveness in his usually warm voice.

“No, I guess not” Sam hurried to reassure him, even daring to joke so as to lighten the suddenly awkward mood. “As long as you don’t exchange me”

“Of course not” Blaine answered with a forced chuckle.

Because even if he didn’t say anything, he couldn’t help but to think it probably wouldn’t be long until it was Sam changing him for another. And that thought hurt too much.

“By the way, do you remember that agent I met at the party that I told you about?” Sam said, immediately sparkling Blaine’s interest as he finally started driving towards school.

“Sure”

“He called me last night”

“What?” Blaine exclaimed, feeling his heart was going to fly out of his chest with excitement for his boyfriend. “And what did he want?”

“He… he offered me a contract” Sam answered, trying –and failing– to keep himself from smiling with pride. “In New York”

“Oh my God, Sam!” Blaine yelled, only refraining from jumping in Sam’s arms because the latter was driving. “That’s so amazing!”

“I know, right?” Sam replied, not even trying to sound modest anymore because come on, that was Blaine! And Blaine would never judge him –especially judging by the excitement in his face at receiving the news. “I mean, I was just standing there and he approached me to say I was exactly what they were looking for in their agency! So apparently he spoke to them on the weekend and… they offered me a job!”

“Congratulations, love!” Blaine exclaimed, finally giving up his retisance to kiss Sam’s cheek even if he tried not to bother his driving. “I’m so proud of you!”

“Thanks, babe” Sam answered with the goofiest smile.

“And what did you say?”

“Well… I said no”

“What?” Blaine asked, his smile freezing in a second. “Why?”

“Because I’m not ready to move to New York yet” Sam explained, knowing he could share all his thoughts with his beloved boyfriend, who always seemed to understand. “We’re going there together at fall, remember?”

“But Sam…” Blaine tried to protest, even if he was almost too overwhelmed to find his voice at how much his boyfriend seemed to love him, even if he couldn't understand why. “You can’t refuse such an offer… especially for me”

“Ok, don’t go feeling guilty” Sam immediately stopped him, knowing how Blaine would manage to find the way to blame himself from Sam’s decision. “I want to go to New York with you, that’s true. But I also want to graduate first. We don’t know how this modeling thing is going to work and I don't want to jeopardize my future, I want to be responsible and do the right thing for once” 

Blaine was about to continue protesting, because it was too big an opportunity to just let it pass, but he had to admit that Sam’s reasoning made a lot of sense. He knew how much Sam had matured during that year and how hard he was working to be able to graduate with the rest of them in spite of his dyslexia. Of course he would love to see him making his dream come true right away, but he was incredibly proud of him for making such a hard decision.

“You sure?” Blaine asked, wanting to make sure his boyfriend wouldn’t regret his decision in the long run.

“I’m sure, B” Sam assured him with a loving and grateful squeeze to Blaine’s thigh. “In just a few months we’ll be going there, together. And man, we’re going to be a couple of successful bastards!”

And nothing could have warmed Sam’s heart more than the chuckle his words were able to elicit on his taciturn boyfriend of late.

**********

Being Monday, Blaine hardly had any class with Sam, which he hated. He hadn’t even seen him at lunch time, because he didn’t want Sam to know he was not going to eat anything so he had made an excuse about having to talk with a teacher and had texted him to let him know he wouldn’t meet him until Glee club. Of course Sam had texted him back, playfully protesting a bit about it and reminding him to find the time to eat his lunch, after eating so little for the past two days. But as usual he respected his decision, even if he was disappointed not to share his meal with him. But Sam was wonderful like that.

So that’s why Blaine had been ‘hiding’ in the gym at lunch time, taking advantage of the time to do some heavy training that would help him get rid of his exceeding weight, and after taking his shower he started walking towards his next class. And that’s when he had the bad fortune of running into the last person he wanted to see: Daisy.

“Hello, Blaine” she said when she stopped right in front of him without the usual charming smile she usually gifted Sam with.

“Hello, Daisy” he reluctantly answered, knowing she was just talking to him because she wanted to reach his boyfriend. “Sam is not here right now, but I can text…”

“No, I wanted to talk to you” she rudely interrupted him.

“Me?”

“Yes. I need you to talk some sense into Sam and convince him to accept that offer”

“Oh, he told you” Blaine commented, not surprised that Sam had shared that bit of information with her, because he considered her a good friend and they had lot of common interests.

“Yes, he told me. And he also told me he was going to refuse it”

“Yes, he decided to wait until we finish school as we…”

“This is your fault” Daisy brusquely interrupted him again, not even pretending to be nice now that Sam wasn’t around.

“What?”

“He’s staying for you, I hope you realize that”

“That’s not true, he just wants to graduate first” Blaine protested.

“That’s what he told you?” she answered with a sarcastic snort –and Blaine wondered if someone else had ever made him feel as small and pathetic as she did. “Poor thing, so gullible… Sam doesn’t want to go to New York out of pity for you, because he feels guilty to leave you behind while he successes”

Blaine wanted to protest, to yell at her, to assure her she was lying… but he couldn’t. Because a part of him was telling him she was right and that was the real reason behind Sam’s refusal. Sam knew how weak and pathetic he was, and he was probably afraid he would fall apart if he left him there alone. What if Daisy was right? What if he was the reason for Sam to miss such an opportunity?

Daisy, who was much more manipulative and astute that she had shown until then, could see that her words were taking deep root on Blaine’s already vulnerable mind, and decided to continue. After all, what she wanted was to get him out of the way without Sam realizing she had anything to do with it. And the best way to do that was to make sure Blaine would move out of the way himself.

“Look, you’re holding him down, you know?” Daisy added, even if she tried to be less harsh so Blaine would think she was only worrying about her friend.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re an obstacle in his career. Do you think a model needs to be in a committed relationship? Of course not, they need to be free and, what’s more important, people need to think they’re free so they can dream about meeting them”

“But…” Blaine tried to protest, but he realized he didn’t know what to say, because he hadn’t ever thought about that before –and he wondered if Sam had ever done either, or it would just be another reason to leave him in the short run.

“You know what I say it’s true” she insisted. “And if that wasn’t enough, you’re a guy, and it wouldn’t do any good for Sam’s image to be perceived as gay"  

Blaine didn’t even open his mouth this time, because he knew she was completely right about that.

“And well, on top of everything, you’re not...” she continued, pretending she was looking for the right words so as not to hurt him –even if she was aiming precisely for that.

“I’m not what?” Blaine asked, even if he was almost scared about what he was going to hear.

“You’re not exactly the most glamorous person to be around, you know? Sam will be making a living out of his image, he can’t be related to someone like you”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Look, I didn’t want to be cruel, but you’re giving me no choice: you’re short, fat and you dress in a ridiculous way” she said, even touching his sweater with disdain. “Do you even have a plan for your life?”

“I want to dedicate my life to music and theatre” Blaine answered, his voice almost inaudible with shame, before realizing he didn’t owe the girl any explanation.

“Please, another dreamer, as if I hadn’t heard enough...” she replied, looking at him as if he was the most pathetic human being she had ever seen. “Look, if you really love Sam you gotta do what’s best for him”

“But… Sam loves me” Blaine was able to say through the knot he could feel forming on his throat.

“Sam thinks he loves you because he hasn’t found anything better yet" she cruelly retorted. "Just give him some time”

Blaine remained silent as his heart shattered into pieces at the girl's harsh –though reasonable– words. And if he had to be honest with himself... she hadn't said anything he hadn't thought before. He just hadn't had the heart to dwell too much on it.

“Look, I just wanted you to convince Sam to give that offer a chance, but looks like you can even do that right” she continued, apparently having lost all fear of hurting him. “And I wouldn’t tell him about this conversation, you don’t want to ruin the modeling club for him too, right? Haven’t you done enough?”

She looked intently at Blaine for a couple of seconds, daring him to contradict her, but when she saw he was not going to answer –which probably meant she had managed to convince him to not breath a word of their conversation to his boyfriend– she cockily turned around and started walking down the hall with a proud smile on her face, knowing she had made a big progress that day: hopefully Blaine would convince Sam to go to New York and... once he was there it would be really easy for her to follow him, her agent would make sure she would get a lot of work offers after all.

Meanwhile Blaine stood petrified in front of his locker, too shocked to move –or hardly even breathe. He couldn't believe how she had finally shown her colors and even overcome every expectations Blaine could have had about her malice. But at the same time... yes, everything she had said was aiming to hurt him, he knew that much. But that didn't mean it wasn't true, right? Because it probably was: what if Sam didn't worry so much about graduation and had only decided to stay for him? Even out of pity for him? Wouldn't he be holding Sam down if that was the case?

And what if Daisy was right and being Sam's boyfriend would make him look bad? What if Sam didn't stop loving him but still broke up with him because he was an obstacle to his modelling career? Or what if Sam never broke up with him... and his career failed because of that?

Gosh, Blaine couldn't even think of living a life without the person he loved the most in the world, but knowing he was sabotaging his dreams, even if unwillingly, also hurt very bad. What was he supposed to do? 

But his heart and his head were hurting too bad for him to find an answer.

**********

It was very hard for Blaine to continue functioning after his dreadful encounter with Daisy, but he knew she was right and he needed to feign nothing had happened: the last thing he wanted was for Sam to know about their conversation and get angry at the girl, and lose everything the modeling club meant to him. If Sam was renouncing to New York for him... well, hadn't he done enough?

Of course it was not as easy to act as if everything was alright once he reunited with Sam in the glee club a while after that, because his boyfriend knew him too well and he would surely read him like a book.

“Hey” Sam happily exclaimed when Blaine finally found his way into the choir room, even rising from his chair to properly welcome him and give him the embrace he deserved. “I’ve missed you today”

“I’ve missed you too” Blaine answered as he let himself be engulfed in those warm arms that had never failed to protect him before, in desperate need for their comfort.

“Hey, you alright?” Sam asked, immediately noticing his somber mood when they broke the embrace. "You're not feeling sick still, are you? Did you eat something?"

"Yes, of course I did, and I'm ok" Blaine answered, but he could easily see he was not convincing his very protective boyfriend. "Just a bit tired, I guess"

"Well, I guess it's normal to feel a bit weak after two days with so little nourishment" Sam agreed with a shrug of his shoulders before bringing Blaine closer to him again to embrace him comfortingly.

“Oh my God, you’re so disgusting…" Kitty protested good-naturedly as she arrived to the classroom, as she usually did in what had become almost a routine between her and the couple. "Blaine, stop wearing Sam’s clothes, please”

“I’m not wearing Sam’s clothes” Blaine mumbled while trying not to blush –did everyone have to comment on his clothes? Gosh, he couldn't have a rest!

“The sweater?” Kitty asked in a sarcastic tone.

“It’s mine”

“Gosh, then you really need to grow” she joked without any bad intention –as Blaine had always joked about his own height and had even designated her and himself as "the hobbit twins".

“And you really need to close your mouth” he answered in the coldest voice anyone present had ever heard on him as he disentangled from Sam's embrace and walked to take a seat.

An uncomfortable silence filled the room for a moment, as everyone was astounded at his answer: Blaine was usually the sweetest person to be around, he always had a smile and an encouraging word for everyone, it was so unlikely of him to give such a retort... But then again everyone was entitled to have a day, they guessed, and maybe Kitty's words had sounded a bit offensive after all.

“I’m sorry if I offended you, Blaine, I was just kidding” Kitty apologized, the playfulness of a moment before completely gone from her voice.

“I’m sorry too, Kitty, I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that” Blaine answered, full of guilt, because he had never meant to jump at her throat like that –after all, it wasn't her fault that she had hit too close to home while only trying to have a laugh or the fact that he was having so much trouble controlling his emotions lately.

"We ok?" She asked, and Blaine hated to perceive some kind of fear in her eyes –after all, Kitty and him had become good friends since Blaine joined the cheerios, and he knew she cared very deeply about him.

"Or course, honey, I'm sorry" he answered while managing to smile, tenderly rubbing her shoulder once she sat in front of him with obvious relief.

Nobody said anything else on the matter, but Blaine could feel Sam's stare fixed on him even while he pretended to be looking for something in his back so he wouldn't have to look back at the blond. As much as some people seemed to think so, Sam was not stupid by any means, and Blaine knew that he more than suspected that there was something wrong with him. Blaine really needed to work harder to feign, or Sam would end up discovering everything.

Fortunately for him, Mr. Schuester chose that moment to appear and, as usual, he started talking non-stop about something –it was difficult for Blaine to know what, because he was finding it very hard to concentrate–. Suddenly everyone started cheering, and he turned to Sam in confusion, hoping to find an answer about what was happening.

"Mr. Schue is going to give us the list of songs for Nationals" Sam kindly explained, having noticed how Blaine seemed to be absent but he thought he was probably just thinking about how he had 'fought' with Kitty so not much to worry about. "I'm so sure you're going to get a solo"

Blaine smiled at his boyfriend's confidence in him, but at the same time he couldn't help but to wish he would be wrong. Because yes, until about a couple of weeks ago that would have been like his biggest dream come true, but now... he couldn't imagine himself standing on his own in front of hundreds of people, looking at him, judging him... What if Daisy was right? What if he was just a dreamer and he wasn't that talented? What if he did a fool of himself and they lost because of him? He didn't think he could get over something like that.

"Well, I'm sure you all would like to have your moment, and two of the songs are going to have some verses for everyone, but only the last one will be a solo" Mr. Schuester explained, glad that every one of his students were nodding in agreement –he had been afraid of all the drama these moments tended to elicit, though he had to admit it had been easier since some of the original members left after their graduation and were replaced but younger and more modest students.

"And who is going to be the lucky one?" Unique asked, hoping she would be the chosen one.

"Well, it was a hard decision but... since Blaine is the new Rachel, I think It's only fair that he will get a solo, I'm sure you'll all agree he has earnt such an honor"

Everyone turned to him at once and, even if some of them looked a bit disappointed, they agreed with their teacher that Blaine was the man for the job and they applauded at him, knowing he was not going to disappoint them.

Blaine felt that familiar knot of late on his throat at the pressure he suddenly felt falling on him, making it hard to even breathe properly. No, no way, there was no way he could do it. There was no way he could jump on a stage and expose himself like that. Not when he could hardly stand seeing himself in the mirror.

"Excuse me, Mr. Schue, but I... I'm not sure I'm the right one for the job" Blaine said, and even if his voice was barely audible, it was enough to silence all the noise in the room thanks to the surprise it elicited.

"What?" Sam asked, almost in shock, as he gently grabbed Blaine's arms to turn him towards him. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm surprised, Blaine, I thought it was what you wanted, I was sure you would be delighted with the news" Mr. Schue continued, almost as shocked as the blond.

"And I'm grateful for your trust, Mr. Schue, honestly, I just... I don't think I'm ready for it" Blaine tried to explain, hoping his voice wasn't shaking as much as he was.

"But Blaine, you're the best singer and performer in the club, of course you're ready" Sam intervened, feeling a strange dread and sorrow in his heart at the sudden lack of self-confidence of his boyfriend –as Blaine had always shone on stage as if he had been born to it.

"I'm not" Blaine answered, practically in a whisper because he hated disappointing Sam.

"I understand it can be quite scary but..." Mr. Schue tried to intervene, but Blaine didn't give him the option to finish.

"I'm not scared" Blaine interrupted him with a rudeness that surprised even himself –because it was as if all his pain of late –and the shame after his conversation with Daisy– had suddenly turned into anger and he couldn't control it. "I just don't think I'm the best one for the part and I don't want to do it"

"Well, Blaine, I'm sorry but I'm the one who decides the soloists, and you are going to have the main solo this year, I'm sure that once you start rehearsing you will see..." Mr. Schue insisted, not happy about how Blaine seemed to be questioning his authority and he couldn't allow it.

"I'm not going to do it" Blaine stubbornly repeated, not willing to let himself be intimidated –and terrified at the same time at what he was doing.

"Blaine..." Sam whispered at his side, and he sounded so worried that Blaine didn't have the heart to look at him.

"What the hell, Blaine, we would all kill for a chance like that and you're rejecting it?" Unique asked all of a sudden and, even if it broke Blaine's heart to know he was failing the team like that, her words only seemed to contribute to his anger.

"How can you be so selfish?" Jake reproached him, not helping in the least.

"I didn't ask for it, you can have the solo for all I care" Blaine retorted, feigning he didn't care about what was happening –when the truth was he was silently yelling for them to understand how afraid he was.

"But Blaine, we need you to win" Tina intervened, pleading to him to reconsider his decision while she worried and wondered what the hell was happening with her best friend lately.

"Yeah, we're a team, you can't fail us" Artie added.

"Blaine, is there something wrong?" Mr. Schue decided to ask, knowing that there had to be something wrong with the boy to act that way, as he usually was the model student and teammate and he loved performing like nothing else in the world. "Is there some way I can help you?"

For a moment Blaine almost fell into the temptation of spilling everything at Mr. Schue's offer, he almost asked him to have a word with him in private and tell him what had been happening lately, why he was doing what he was doing and why he sometimes felt so depressed he could hardly get up in the mornings. He trusted Mr. Schue and gosh, it would feel so good to talk to someone who could maybe help him... But no, he couldn't. He would never understand because Mr. Schue was perfect, even at his age: he was attractive, he was talented and he was confident: everything Blaine wasn't. He would probably just laugh at him or simply tell him he was making a big deal out of nothing because he wouldn't understand.

And Sam would never forgive him for explaining everything to someone else instead of him. So no, he couldn't tell him anything.

"Yeah, you can listen to me when I tell you I don't want to do it" Blaine spat at the teacher, even if under his harsh words there was a real plead to let it go.

"I'm sorry but if you don't give me a good reason not to, you're going to have to do it" Mr. Schue answered with a sigh, and no one was too surprised because even if he was usually great to them, sometimes he could get quite unreasonable when things didn't go his way.

"How about I don't want to?" Blaine angrily replied, even rising from his chair in frustration that didn't seem able to do even that right.

"Blaine, what the hell is wrong with you?" Sam whispered at his side, totally in shock, as he stood up next to him.

"Nothing, fuck, why is it so hard to understand I just don't want to have a solo?" Blaine practically yelled, not being able to stop even if he could see the pain in his boyfriend's eyes.

"Mr. Schue, can I talk to Blaine outside for a second?" Sam asked, turning to the teacher, hoping he would be able to bring Blaine back to his senses if they could have a calm and private conversation.

"There is nothing to talk about, I'm not going to do it and that's final" Blaine stopped him, because the last thing he wanted was to be confronted by the one person who could manage to make him lose his resolution.

"I'm the director of this glee club, Blaine, and as long as you are a part of it..." Mr. Schue tried to threaten him, but again he was not going to be listened to.

"Are you really going to force me into it?" Blaine asked, full in defiance even if what he really felt was he was being cornered and he didn't know how to escape.

"If I have to" 

"Then I'm out"

There was a general exclamation at that, because Blaine would have been the last person they would have thought could possibly want to leave the glee club, after everything it had meant to him. And he seemed just as surprised himself, judging by the shock that seemed to cross his face for a second, only to be replaced by the same defiance once again.

"What are you doing?" Sam whispered at him, hoping some privacy would make Blaine's pretense fall, but he was not that fortunate.

"I'm out of the glee club" Blaine explained in feigned calmness, even if it was obvious by the way he started gathering his things.

"Blaine, wait, let's talk about it" Mr. Schue implored, feeling guilty that he had driven Blaine to such a drastic measure even if he didn't really understand what was happening.

"I'm not a member of the club, you can't tell me what to do anymore" Blaine answered as he left the chair area in the most confident way he could muster, knowing there was no turning back now.

"Blaine, you can't be serious, let's..." Tina begged, even picking his hand in hers, but Blaine refused the contact with a rage he felt was invading him so strongly it wouldn't even let him think.

"Will you all leave me alone?" He retorted, almost yelling, before turning around in shame and disappearing so none of them could see the tears threatening to fall from his eyes.

Everyone remained dumbstruck in their places, not knowing what to do, or even think. They were not able to believe what had happened: they doubted they had ever seen Blaine even annoyed, as he was usually the sweetest and most patient boy ever. So to see him so angry, and without a real reason... and leaving the glee club he loved so much just because he didn't want to have a solo! It didn't make any sense.

"Mr. Schue, may I be excused?" Sam's request took them all out of their reverie. Because no matter how angry Blaine was or how confused he was himself, he needed to talk to him and discover what the hell was happening.

"Yes, yes, of course, Sam" Mr. Schue answered in a defeated tone, feeling he had failed as a teacher to one of his favorite students.

**********

"Blaine! Wait!" Sam yelled at his boyfriend as he ran behind him, not caring if they were in a corridor of the school.

"Sam, don't" Blaine pleaded, but he still erased the tears in his eyes because he knew his boyfriend was not going to listen to him and he didn't want him to see them.

"Wait a minute" Sam implored as he gently grabbed on Blaine's shoulder to make him turn around, almost afraid of sending him into another bout of fury.

"Go back, Sam, you're still in the glee club" Blaine answered in a soft tone, even letting Sam manhandle him because no matter how angry he was, he would always respect the person he loved the most in the world.

"And you can be in it too if you want, I'm sure if you just go back with me and..."

"I'm not going back there, Sam"

"Blaine, what the hell is going on?" Sam asked, desperate for some answers to understand.

"Didn't you just see it?"

"Yes! I saw Mr. Schue giving you a solo! For nationals! I thought that's what you had been dreaming of for the whole year!"

"Well, it's not! I don't want to do it, okay?" Blaine protested, hoping his boyfriend would support him on that and not pressure him to do it. "Why is it so hard to understand?"

"Because you live to perform! Music is like breathing to you!" Sam explained, holding both of Blaine's hands in his to make more of an impression. "Or is that another thing you've changed lately?"

"You don't understand" Blaine lamented with a shake of his head.

"No, I surely don't" Sam admitted, silently asking him to help him understand.

"Then go back there, it's okay, the fact I left doesn't mean you have to do the same" Blaine gently answered, not wanting for Sam to lose the glee club as he had done, thanks to his cowardice and his inability to channel his emotions.

"Talk to me, Blaine" Sam begged, even bringing one of Blaine's hands to his lips to kiss it so the latter would understand how much he loved him.

"I'm talking to you" Blaine answered, feigning he hadn't understand what Sam meant to avoid the question.

"Tell me what is wrong with you, please" Sam insisted, not willing to let it go for once in spite of how hard Blaine tried to avoid it. It had been long enough. "Maybe I can help"

"What is wrong with me, Sam?" Blaine retorted, his voice completely changed as he went into the defensive again. "Mind to share?"

"Isn't that answer just proof enough? You would have never talked to me that way a few weeks ago"

"I'm sorry" Blaine apologized, knowing Sam was right and he didn't deserve a treatment like that –especially when he wasn't to blame for anything.

"It's okay" Sam immediately forgave him, not offended in the least –just worried. "I just want to know if you're okay"

"I told you, Sam, there is nothing wrong with me" Blaine lied once again, knowing he couldn't just tell Sam about how he was feeling without opening his eyes to how pathetic he was or without ruining the blond's friendship with Daisy. And he had done enough.

"I'm sorry, but I don't believe you" Sam answered, knowing he had never been that harsh to Blaine either but feeling he needed to do it.

“If you can't trust my words... then I don't know what we are doing" Blaine answered, feeling that familiar anger burning in his chest again at Sam's words –even if he was really lying to him. "Maybe you should just go to New York”

“What?” Sam asked, completely in shock. Had Blaine really implied... that maybe they should just... call it quits? "Blaine, what did you mean with that?"

“Forget it" Blaine answered, unable to simply put an end to that relationship that meant the world to him even if he knew he should do it to set Sam free.

But he couldn't. He was selfish like that and he knew he would die if he ever had to see Sam go. So instead he just caressed Sam's cheek, unable to stop the tears any longer.

"Just… forget it” he said, before turning away and leaving Sam there before he could really see how broken he really was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one more chapter to go!


End file.
